21.

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I kept thinking about his words the rest of training. I know how I am feeling towards Eric but I didn't think my feelings were being matched and with the same intenstity.

'You have captured my heart.' That is something out of a romance novel and it is happening to me. He brings me so much comfort and makes me feel so.. loved. I don't want to say that word because it has to many conertations towards it and if I say I love him then he has more of a chance of shattering my heart. But let's be real if He ended things right now it would shatter me. He has brought me back and is still bringing me back. I can now handle more than I ever thought I could. His bare hands feel like they belong on my skin. The rough calouses on his hands from shooting and training have bring me comfort. His scent along brings me joy. Which reminds me I need to permentally borrow one of his other hoodies while he is gone because the one I am wearing now is starting not to smell like him.

Right now I am watching him on the other side of his couch reading. He has some kind of piano music going off of his tablet and he has me filing out reports on my tablet.  I am currently trying to find a connection to the factionless and the guns. Which is hard because the man who is stealing the weapons is really covering their asses which is a pain in our asses.

"You leave tomorrow night." I state looking away from him feeling sad.

"Yeah. Me, Greg, and Derek are all going to be gone. Max said our cover story is that we are doing leadership training out in the Amity farmlands. But we come back everynight which is why you still have patrol. And your patrol is staying here where I know you are safe. And on the days you are not doing your fear simulation you are going to be working with Marlene. You can use my office and you will have full access to my data base." Eric explained putting his book down and looking at me. I looked up from my tablet and nodded.

"Is this dangerous?" I asked worriedly. I truly didn't want anything to happen to anyone but especially not him.

"It is. Everything we do on missions are dangerous. But I will be extremely careful. I can't leave my best girl." He winked and pulled the tablet out of my hands and put it on the table.

He pulled my legs straight and staddled me on the couch. He kissed me hard and placed both hands on my face. I moaned with the intestity behind the kiss. He changed positioned and pulled me to lay on him before I could even think I was pulling off his hoodie and then my tanktop. I was sitting there with nothing on but just a bra. He didn't say anything for a minute but his eyes did. His eyes darkened and I felt him grow hard beneath me. He moved his eyes away from my body and to my face. He pulled me to him and kissed me again. This time his hands were gliding across my sides.

He felt me through my bra but I wanted more. so much more. I kissed him hard and quickly unzipped the front of my sports bra and let it fall open. He pulled back with surprise writeen on his face. His eyes didn't stray down and his hands stopped on my waist.

"I know you aren't ready." He said squeezing my hips lightly. I nodded agreeing with him.

"But that doesn't mean I don't want you to not touch me." I told him and grabbed his hand placing it on my bear breast. The feeling made my nipple harden and I gasp at the feeling.

"are you sure?" Eric asked. God consent from Eric sounds so sexy.

"Yes. Eric. You can touch me. If I want you to stop them I will tell you to." I said before leaning to kiss him.

He kissed me and grabbed my other boob so that he was kneading both. I moaned when He decided to kiss down my neck leaving red marks that I am sure will be bruises tommrrow down my neck. I could feel him grow hard beneth me and it didn't scare me. Never scared me. He took my right breast in his mouth and it made me gasp. His hot mouth on me made everything clench. I know I am not ready for him to touch me there yet but this is making me rethink everything. Eric pulled away and took in my face.  His eyes were dark and he was panting slightly.

"This is so not fair.  I am leaving for almost two weeks and I won't get to test your limits." He grumbled before kissing me again.  I giggled in to kiss and sighed feeling his chest against mine.  I didn't even noticed his shirt was gone until now. He rubbed my back and I sighed in his lips. I felt him chuckle.

"Well think of it as delayed gratification." I teased as I pulled back.  I almost felt self conscious but knowing Eric he would be more than happy to sit here just staring. He laughed a deep throaty laugh that makes me smile.

"Come on.  Let's go to bed." He whispered standing me up and he stood up adjusting himself. He didn't even attempt to hide it.  I blushed and went to grab my top from the ground but Eric flicked my hands and grabbed his shirt holding it out. 

I smiled and put it on.  He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward his bedroom and sat me on the bed before turning towards his dresser.  He pulled out some clothes and walked out again.

I felt confident for a brief moment and pulled down my leggings. Now I am clad in his tshirt and some boyshort underwear. I blushed feeling exposed but not uncomfortable. I crawled up the bed and shuffled under the covers right in the middle the bed. I have always had a small bed so I don't even know what side of the bed I want. Eric came back wearing nothing but sweat but he looked less aroused. I blushed as he walked towards me.

"what side do you want?" he asked walking towards the right side that faced the door to his living room almost indicating his side.

"I can take the left side if that is okay." I said nervously.

"Good because i like to be next to the door." He said pulling back the covers. I shifted over feeling nervous which is silly since we have laid in this same bed before. I pulled the pillow down off the head board and laid down facing him. Eric was fiddling with something on the nightstand and finally I captured a glimpse of a .45.

"Is that something you always do?" I asked as he started to lay down.

"Yeah. It is a thing I have always done since I moved in here. Not to scare you but being a leadership is dangerous. You make a lot of enemies." He whispered and reached out to ran his fingers over my cheek. He ran his hand down to my hip and reached under his shirt. His hand froze feeling the lack of pants.

"Is this okay?" he asked concerned and I nodded.

"I need your words baby." He whispered.

"Yes. I am okay." I told him staring into his eyes so he knows I am okay.

He reached around and pulled me to him so I was against him. He laid on his back and pulled me so was my head was on his chest.

He played with some of the hair that fell out of my bun and I traced patterns on his chest. If I could do this for the rest of my life i'd be happy. Just listening to his heart beat and breathing was like a it's own melody. I felt my eyes drift closed and for the first time since transfering I slept deep.

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