Shade Of Love

6 | Reality

Chapter 6 : Reality

My girls sat with me for hours after we got back to my apartment.

They knew that I needed them more than I was saying, because I said absolutely nothing.

I sat there in silence, completely petrified.

Though I was surrounded by love I felt alone.

I felt how I felt when Jax had first laid hands on me.

That wasn't anyone's fault, just typical PTSD.

Around 9pm I finally asked them to leave, I needed to get some rest and prepare to go back to work tomorrow.

I hated how I felt. I had faught so hard to get out of this black hole, now I felt like I had only fallen deeper back into it.

Depression is real, PTSD is real and though many might not agree with me on this, healing from an abusive relationship is also REAL.

I sat there in silence.

I knew what the next step for me would need to be.

It was something I had put off for quite some time, Therapy.

After I took a rather long shower I climbed into bed, took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Ding!

I quickly opened my eyes back up and reached for my phone. It was a message from Omar. I still hadn't replied to the previous messages.

Sigh.

🍫 : Did I do something wrong? I'm worried about you.

I thought about ignoring the message again and as bad as my day had been that would've been the easiest option but he didn't deserve to just be ghosted, so I gave it to him straight.

Me : It's not you it's me, I just have some things I need to figure out. Hope you understand.

🍫 : I don't & I'm not letting someone with your kind of light slip through my fingers. Call me whenever you're ready to smile again, preferably soon.

I read that message and instantly felt some kind of warmth flow over me.

I was terrified now more than ever of continuing to get to know him, but something about him felt right.

Me : Will do, goodnight. 💕

***

I arrived at work the next morning feeling how I assumed I looked, like shit.

I'd stayed up late last night googling local psychiatrists in the area.

After about an hour I finally found one that was 10 minutes away from my house, with availability that worked around my work schedule.

I made an appointment for this Thursday. I'd put this off long enough, it was time to bring in a professional.

"Your scrubs are always so cute," my coworker Michelle complimented, while handing me my usual hazelnut Starbucks cup of coffee.

"Awe thanks, I try I try," I replied, grabbing the coffee out of her hand.

I worked at a primary care doctor's office. We were the busiest in town, so coffee was mandatory if you wanted to survive.

I had on my Nightmare before Christmas themed scrubs. I always got the most compliments in them, which definitely helped make my days a little better.

About 10 minutes into my shift I began pulling patients back into treatment rooms.

"Jane Green," I yelled out into the lobby.

An older small woman smiled and begun making her way towards me.

"Good morning ma'am I'm Faith. I'll be your medical assistant today getting you pulled back and ready for Dr.Adams," I explained, while guiding her down the hallway.

"Such a beautiful name for a beautiful young lady," she said, following me into a vacant treatment room.

I smiled.

I took her vitals, wrote some notes for Dr.Adams into her chart and exited the room.

I placed her chart in the bin outside of the doctor's office and went to the lobby for the next patient.

This was my job.

Some days were rather smooth, some days were hell, but always busy.

After a long day of work I finally clocked out around 5pm and walked straight to my car.

When I entered the car I sat there before putting my key in the ignition, and dialed Omar.

I know, I surprised myself by doing this.

"Hey beautiful, so you ready to smile?," he asked.

"I kind of could use a smile right now, maybe even a drink?," I replied, covering my mouth to keep from giggling.

I was always goofy when I was nervous. I already couldn't believe I was actually making a move on him.

"Damn woman it's only Monday, well um my place or yours?," he chuckled.

"Yours. Send me your building and apartment number I'll be over around 7," I said hanging up.

I couldn't believe the words that had just came out of my mouth.

I sped home like a fast and furious driver.

When I reached my building I quickly ran upstairs to my apartment. I was in a rush.

I had no idea what had gotten into me but it was actually something I liked.

I needed to let go some, and I had a feeling Omar would be just the person to help arrange that.

As I got into my room I begun to get ready. I threw on my sexiest red lace matching bra and thong set, something the devil himself would get weak seeing me in.

I applied my Japanese blossom perfume to my wrists as well as the top of my breasts being sure to rub it in.

I pulled my braids back into a ponytail, put on a rather short black and white striped halter dress with matching black and white wedges, and began to head out the door.

I felt truly sexy for once, who knew how this night may go?

A/N : I'm very grateful for those of you who are actually taking time out of your day to read this story. I write all of my chapters from scratch without any planning or brainstorming so this is all flowing each day. The next chapter will get a little serious & spicy, stay tuned. 🖤🦋

- Revised by author on 3/16/23 🫶🏾