Scar Red

24: Nerve Wrack

After one week, I was decided. I couldn't just lounge around in his house because I knew I had to find something to do so I could get back on my feet. I made myself useful by helping around the house and occasionally helping out Louisa in the kitchen.

Now I wasn't trying to get on her good side given that that part of her had irrevocably decided to resent my existence. I was just putting in my service as my little way of thanking them for putting a roof over my head and feeding me.

I could tell that she appreciated it too even though she would most certainly not show it.

Mr. McGregor had talked to me the day before, sympathizing with what I'd been through. He also reassured me that things would turn out fine. I was also warming up to Faustina little by little but I doubted we would ever be chums.

Also, Jared was a bit strange lately. He was really hard to understand. Most times, he came back unreasonably late in the night, he'd miss dinner and no one said anything about it. The most appalling instance was the day before yesterday when he came home wreaking of alcohol and though I wasn't too sure, cigarettes too.

I didn't know, it wasn't my place to say anything since he owed me nothing, much less an explanation. I guessed that I should be grateful for his kindness instead of getting all up in his business. All in all, I was just really worried about him.

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. I was all skinny limbs and pallid-faced. At least, this was better than being fat.

If I were obese, I couldn't imagine how many times I would change my wardrobe since it wouldn't take long for me to outgrow them. Given that I was mostly cash-strapped, it would be difficult to procure more… So yeah, I appreciated my slender form.

Impulsively, I reached a hand up and covered a part of my visage—the blemished part—wondering how to pull off a certain look before I let out a deep exhale. Why did I even bother? It wasn't like I could hide my face indefinitely and it remained a constant reminder that I would never truly be accepted no matter where I went—even here, sadly.

I shuffled on my legs and blinked severally. My jade eyes gave me away. I was so nervous that it overshadowed my determination to remain unmoved. I promised myself not to let the nervousness have its way but was failing miserably.

Today would be my first day at a nice, big restaurant that I got hired in. When I told JJ about my plans, he was in full support and helped me secure a job in that restaurant since he knew the owner.

Making a good first impression was one of my top priorities and I didn't want to be over or underdressed.

So, I planned my outfit the day before. It was a simple black long-sleeved, turtle neck top and a plaid skirt though I would rather don pants since that was what I felt more comfortable in.

Nonetheless, it wasn't about what I liked right then. It was about looking appropriately dressed. I couldn't really be sure that what I had chosen fitted the 'appropriately dressed' stereotype since my knowledge about fashion wasn't very impressive.

I went with my simple black flats, to complete my ensemble. The exact ones that I'd been wearing with my maids' uniform since none of my other footwear was as presentable. I had them polished to perfection and hopefully, no one would notice how worn out they were.

I grunted severally as I dealt with my hair. It was harder to work with than before.

"Yes, this is it," I thought to myself before I clambered down to JJ's room.

He normally went out as often as possible—even at odd hours and came back just like that. The last time I asked him what he was into and where he worked, he couldn't give a straight answer. It was like every day I was finding out that I knew less and less about him.