Scar Red

37: When It Rains...

Song for the moment; Rescue - Lauren Daigle.

I walked briskly into the supermarket, guilt tugging strongly on my mind. With my guise of a coat, a scarf, and a beanie, I was prepared for anything...I think.

After standing around for several minutes, I slipped into the beverage section to stuff my pockets. Not minding the customers scattered about with their trolleys probably with means of paying for their wants, I continued swiping dutifully, keeping as much distance as I could from the closest ones.

At that point, I didn't care about the cameras because cameras or not, I was bound to succeed but that wouldn't imply a lack of tactic on my part.

There were no tactics 'cause as soon as I'd swiped all my essentials, I made a beeline for the exit, leaving an empty trolley in my wake.

"Hey! You!"

Busted.

I hastened my steps and then broke off into a small sprint before running full-tilt out the exit after evading a handful of security officers. To my utmost surprise, I discovered after having run a long way that no one had given chase that far and I wondered if I was ever chased at all. No vehicles, nothing. Well, lucky me.

As I ate the stolen items, I loathed myself for my actions but having already gone close to a week without much sustenance as well as no means to procure more edibles, I had to do it. I was tired of rummaging through garbage and depending on the mercy of others.

Albeit I wasn't apprehended, there was no telling what would happen if I attempted it again. The taste of stolen edibles was something else, or maybe it was just me. After all, I hadn't tasted quality food in days and I wasn't sure when next I would, once these were exhausted.

I glimpsed some city folk staring incredulously at me while I devoured my meal like a food-depraved animal; however, I couldn't care less about what they thought—what anyone thought. I had merely taken what I needed and I wasn't a thief. Never. I did what I had to. I had to survive. But everyone else saw it as stealing, however, it didn't matter what they thought anymore…

Despite my claims, guilt still persisted within me; the feeling that I'd done something irrevocably wrong. Something I would rarely dream of doing. I wished I didn't have to, just as I had wished that everything I had gone through in the past year was just a façade, a bad dream. I wished I wasn't so lost and confused and as broken as I was...but wishes never came true, at least not for ugly girls like me.

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Like a lost sheep, I wandered the open market, only realizing that I didn't even know the city as well as I thought. The place reminded me of the markets back home since it was just like it, where most items in their freshest and most natural state were sold. Several sellers called out to me inquiring if I wanted to buy something—if only they knew how cash-strapped I was.

"Carina?"

That was...my correct name. It had been a long time since someone called me that. Usually, I was addressed with strings of profanities by people, especially after I'd bumped into them or crashed... accidentally since I was frequently dangling between a fully conscious and a semi-conscious state or lost in thought.

"Carina!"

There it was again. Someone around here knew me. Should I be worried? I whirled instantly, letting my eyes wander until I spotted...Marilyn? That woman headed the kitchen staff back at the Estate. She was probably here to buy some supplies.

Having now caught my attention, she hastened in her procession towards me but it was baffling how she was able to recognize me beneath my guises just as I wondered why she was going out of her way just to meet me.