Scar Red

55: Insanity For Two

"I don't know if I'm any good for marriage," I started.

I'd fantasized about that moment for ages then. However, now that he had popped the question, I couldn't help but feel ineligible.

"There are just so many things that are wrong with me and I don't want to bring them into a marital relationship. I mean, just recently, I had a relapse and I don't think I'm mentally stable enough for this type of thing. I also don't know how being a r*pe victim is going to affect it as well." I uttered, tears streaming down my face and my gaze focused on my hands.

Ro stayed as silent as a grave. It was the longest amount of time that he'd been silent in the middle of any of our conversations and it scared me. It scared me a lot as I kept counting the seconds.

When he parted his sensual lips again, I was pretty sure it had been close to two minutes. "So, those are your reasons? Ok then. Did you possibly think that I hadn't considered all of that before deciding to propose to you? Well, I did and then, I discarded them, and do you know why? It's because they're insignificant and they don't make any difference at all."

Ro took a deep breath. "Ever heard of being overly meticulous? There is such a thing and that's exactly what you're doing right now. I mean, there's a reason that you're undergoing therapy, right? And you told me about your improvements as well so that has to mean something too.

Life is a lot less colorful when you spend it worrying about every little thing and it's important to make the most out of every moment because you'll never get it back, Carina. I can be the one to help you do that but you have to let me in first.

We all get relapses at some point and when you talk about mental stability, might I ask; at what point or level in one's mental health is one deemed mentally stable enough for marriage? You see, when said out loud and put in such a manner, it makes absolutely no sense."

I sighed wearily. "Ro, I-"

"-have you forgotten that I'm not entirely mentally stable as well? My doctors haven't declared me to be completely sane yet and I still take pills." He squeezed my hand, bringing my gaze to his, and in a low tone, he continued. "We can always just be two insane and retarded people without a single care in the world, Carina. It would be us against them."

He held the ring up. "What do you say? As a reasonably psychotic man, I can't imagine living out my days with any broken yet invaluable person if not you."

His last statement pulled my heartstrings in a way that I didn't think was possible. New tears were threatening to fall and I disliked that I was being very emotional that evening but I couldn't help it.

I sniffled softly. "Now, when you put it that way, it's just adorable and that has to be the most perfect thing I've ever heard. What do I say, you ask? I'll say yes, let's do this thing…"

Wordlessly, he stood up from his seat with an unreadable expression etched across his sculpted face. Kneeling before me, he slipped the diamond ring onto my finger. Then, those heart-stopping silver-grey orbs found mine at that moment, communicating to me what words couldn't.

The intensity in his stare undid me while he peered at me as though I had given him something very invaluable. Like the music from the live orchestra, the night breeze carried through, disturbing everything in its path. It roused my hair which in turn flew into my teary face as Ro straightened up before pulling me gently from my seat so he could hug me.

I was lost in his cologne and heady masculine scent and I wished we could be like that forever.

"Thank you," he whispered.

While we rode back to my apartment, neither of us spoke to the other. I was still trying to wrap my head around the entire situation as my gaze remained fixated on the diamond ring on my finger.