Chapter 12

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The meeting was hell. There was shouting, screaming and crying and all Meredith wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed. Alone.

Because that what she would be doing, there was no way that Derek would be coming home with her tonight.

It was made harder by the fact she could constantly feel Derek's eyes on her but she knew if she looked at him then she was certain she could completely break down.

So as soon as the meeting was over she all but ran out of that room, not wanting to deal with any of this right now. She didn't even bother to change as she moved towards her car, grateful that she picked up her keys earlier and tossed them into her lab coat pocket.

"Meredith wait." She heard behind her as the tears started to build in her eyes as she continued to walk ahead. "Meredith stop!" Derek shouted as he ran after her.

"What do you want Derek?" Meredith asked as she twirled to face him.

"I'm sorry, look...I just...I'm sorry." He said as he looked at her with guilty eyes.

"You're sorry?" She laughed as she shook her head. "Derek, you've took on a case where the clients are suing the hospital I work at. Forget that, they are suing a doctor that I worked with on that case. You knew, that's why you've been so distant with me, isn't it?" Meredith asked as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"I did." Derek whispered as he dropped his head down and nodded.

"Great." Meredith turned to walk away but stopped and turned to face him once again. "Look, I think me and you should...we should go on a break."

"No Meredith..." Derek gasped as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his body. "Please, don't do this." He cupped her face in his hands as tears streamed down both of their faces.

"I'm sorry..." she reached up and put her own hands on his cheeks as she pulled his face down to hers as their lips met in a soft embrace. "Goodbye Derek." Meredith pulled away and walked to her car as the tears continued to stream down her face as she got in her car and drove away.

Derek was completely frozen to the spot as he watched Meredith drove away. His whole world had just crumbled around him and he had no idea what to do or where to go.

                              ****************
Lexie was beyond worried about Meredith. After listening to Meredith cry down the phone saying that she needed her, she dropped everything she was doing and immediately headed over. So here she was, knocking repeatedly on Meredith's front door.

"Meredith, let me in, I'm 4 months pregnant here and it's cold. Plus I'm hungry. Oh and I need to pee, so come on, open the door." Lexie knocked once more before listening more any sign of movement behind the door.

Just as she reached up to knock the door again, it opened slowly and she was met with Meredith who looked beyond exhausted. Her hair was swept up in a loose bun on the top of her head, her eyes were red and she was dressed down in tracksuit bottoms and a large oversized top.

"Hey." Meredith forced a smile as she opened the door fully and let Lexie move into the house.

"Meredith, what happened?" Lexie asked as she let her hands go to her small bump and rub it lovingly.

"Wow, look at you." Meredith smiled softly as her own hands drifted out and moved to rest on Lexies bump as well.

Lexie really was glowing and Meredith was beyond happy to see that Lexie was getting her fairytale ending. It's what she deserved.

"Meredith." Lexie said once again which finally forced Meredith to look up towards her.

"Life isn't fair. I finally meet someone and it just blows up in my face. I just..." Meredith shrugged her shoulders before wrapping her arms around herself. "We broke up."

"Oh Mer." Lexie sighed as she wrapped her arm around her shoulder and guided her towards the sofa where they both sat down. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Meredith shook her head as pulled her legs up to her chest as she breathed in the scent of Derek that still lingered on his top that she was currently wearing. "I don't, I just want to sleep but I can't."

Lexie didn't say anything as she just sat there and ran her hand up and down Meredith's back, offering her as much comfort as she possibly could right now.

"Look Mer, why don't you come over and have dinner? Mark will happily cook for you and I think Derek might be coming..." Lexie frowned as she watched Meredith tense up at the mention of Derek's name.

"It was Derek." Meredith finally admitted before looking up to meet Lexies eyes. "I was dating Derek."

"Oh." Lexie simply replied.

"Yeah. It's just all a big mess. I loved him Lex." Meredith said as the tears fell down her face and started to stain her top.

Lexie didn't say anything as she pulled Meredith down on top her lap, where she started running her fingers through her hair, letting her get everything out in this moment. Never in her life had she seen Meredith this vulnerable before.

"I'm sorry." Meredith finally said after a while and she sat back up, wiping away her remaining tears.

"Don't apologise." Lexie smiled genuinely at her. "But I am glad that you got up, I really need to pee." Lexie said as she shot up and headed for the bathroom.

"Ok." Meredith laughed slightly as she watched Lexie all but run to the bathroom. But then just like that the silence surrounded her and she felt alone once again.

The sound of someone knocking on her door made her jump as she slowly stood up and shuffled towards her front door once again. Pulling it open she was came face to face with Derek who stood there with his hands in his pockets and sad eyes.

"Derek." Meredith said softly as she choked back a sob. "What are you doing here?"

"I had to come and see you, I needed to talk to you." Derek sighed. "Can I come in?"

Meredith hesitated before answering as she nodded her head and slowly opened the door and let him walk in.

"Look Meredith I'm sorry. I know nothing I say will ever make you forgive me as I know you feel like I betrayed you. You trusted me and I shattered that. But I can't walk away from this, from us. You mean too much to me to just give up and walk away." Derek stepped closer to Meredith.

"Derek...please." Meredith almost begged him. It took everything in her body not to step forward and collapse into his arms. "I'm just so tired."

"Ok, I will go." He said nodding his head and reluctantly turning to leave her house.

"Coffee." Meredith's voice interrupted him and caused him to turn and face her once again but this time with a frown on his face. "Tomorrow, I'm off. So we can get coffee, talk."

"Coffee. Sounds..." Derek smiled softly at her. "Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow."

It pained Meredith to watch him walk out of her house without even a kiss goodbye. Before Derek, Meredith would have just walked away but it was different with him. She was certain that she was starting to fall in love with Derek and she saw a future with him. So she was going to try, she was going to fight for them. Even if it was the hardest thing they would go through but at least they would be doing it together.

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