Chapter 56

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Meredith was certain at this point that she hadn't slept in days. Her body was beyond exhausted and she felt like crying all the time but she couldn't, she had to keep going. She had Annie to look after who was currently not well.

"Please, just sleep. Mommy is here." Meredith pleaded with her daughter who continued to scream in her arms and pull at her ears. "I know you're uncomfortable right now but the medicine will make you feel better. I promise. But you need to sleep, we both need sleep."

Nothing she was doing was working, it was times like this that she truly wished that Derek was her with her right now. But he hadn't been in weeks now and she hadn't been able to get hold of him either, it was like he had just disappeared.

"I'm sorry." Meredith cried as she dried her tears with her free hand as she continued to bounce Annie in the other. "I'm trying, really trying but I don't know what to do..."

Meredith was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the front door which only escalated Annie's cries.

"I'm coming!" Meredith shouted as she quickly dried her face and did her best to freshen up her appearance and placed a smile on her face as she headed for the front door.

Pulling the door open, she gasped as she unexpectedly came face to face with Derek who looked a hundred times better than she did right now.

"Derek." She ran her hand over her hair and smiled at him before moving Annie to rest on her shoulder. "Where...what..." she had a list longer than her arm of questions to ask him but she just couldn't seem to get her word together.

"Ma mentioned that Annie hasn't been well and that you've been having a hard time lately so..." he shoved his hands in his pocket and swayed nervously. "I thought I would come and you know, help. Step up. I've failed both of you recently and I need to change that, starting today."

"She won't sleep." Meredith sighed, too tired to argue with him right now. "I've tried everything but I mean, it's clearly not working."

"Ok, give her to me and you can head upstairs, take a bath and then get some sleep." He held his arms open for Annie and tried not to show how disappointed he was when Meredith stepped back and kept Annie tight in her arms.

"Where have you been?" She finally found her voice again and asked him, watching as his arms dropped back down to his side and he sighed.

"I went away." He replied watching as Meredith face set into a deep frown.

"You went away! You have a new born baby at home and you just went away!" She shouted which startled Annie and made her scream louder than ever. "I'm not doing this right now, I haven't slept in days. I can't remember the last time I took a shower and I just feel like crying but I can't. I don't just get to go away."

"I'm sorry Meredith, I know that isn't enough. But I'm here now and I'm not leaving ever again. I mean that. So please. Please let me help, let me help our daughter." Derek begged her.

"I mean I've tried everything but you can give a shot." She reluctantly handed Annie over to Derek before stepping back and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Hey baby, it's daddy. Shh, it's ok." He cradled Annie in his arms and moved her close to her chest, her hand immediately reaching out and latching on tight to his top. "Come on, Shh."

He began to pace around the house as he did his best to settle her down. Her cries soon settled as she hiccuped every now and then as her body gave in to the exhaustion and she finally fell asleep.

"Are you joking?" Meredith laughed sarcastically as she threw her hands in the air. "I mean I've been doing that for hours. Hours. You come in and straight away she's asleep, maybe everyone was right, maybe I don't have what it takes to be a good mother."

"Don't say that." Derek snapped his head up and looked at intensely. "You're an amazing mother, don't ever doubt that, alright?"

"Alright." She nodded and gave him a small smile. "I'm going to go and do some laundry."

"No you're not." He insisted as he watched Meredith yawn widely. "You're going to head upstairs, sleep, shower, whatever you need to do. But right now, you're going to have some time for yourself, I'm here now."

"Ok." She turned and headed for the stairs, occasionally stealing glances of Derek and Annie together. It's all she had ever wanted and whilst she was still mad at him for walking away, she would never keep her daughter from him.

Once Meredith was out of sight, Derek moved to the couch and settled himself down before looking down at Annie who still had a tight grip of his shirt. Almost like she was scared to let go.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around." He allowed his finger to reach up and run across her soft pink cheek. "But I'm always going to be here for you and your mom. No matter, even if me and your mom don't make it, you will always be my number one priority. Both you."

Once he saw Annie was fast asleep and wouldn't wake, he moved and settled her into her Moses basket and stood back to just look at her. He couldn't believe he almost walked away from this for good. He knew he had disappointed every single person in his life and he wish he could back and change all of it. But that was in the past, he just had to work on fixing it, starting off with Meredith.

Pulling himself away from Annie, he headed into the kitchen and immediately got to work, placing the dishes in the dishwasher and began folding the large amount of laundry that was on the table.

"You don't have to do that." Meredith said as she leaned on the doorframe leading into the kitchen.

"I wasn't expecting you to be up yet." He said as he paired another set of Annie's socks and placed them in the pile.

"Hmm, I tried to sleep but apparently my brain won't shut off and I can't seem to sleep anymore without you by my side." Meredith admitted.

"Oh." Derek stopped as he held one of her tops in his hands and lowered it down. "Do you want me to leave? I can go."

"No I don't want you to leave. Of course I don't want you to leave, I want you to come home but I'm scared you are just going to walk away again. That one day you're going to wake up and realise this isn't what you wanted. I know the accident had something to do with it but surely the thought of nearly losing us would make you want to be there. But you ran." Meredith sighed and lowered her head.

"Mer..." placing the top down, Derek moved over so he was standing in front of her and placed his hands on her hips. "I love you. So much that I had to go, I was hurting you and you deserved better. You deserve better. But I want to come home, I want to be with you but if you don't want to be with me anymore then I would understand."

"Please come home." She finally looked up to him with tears in her eyes. "I haven't forgiven you yet but I need you to come home, I want you home."

"Yeah?" Derek asked with hope in his voice as he smiled.

"Yeah." Meredith nodded and smiled back. "And I love you too."

Without saying another word, Derek moved his hand up her cheek and stroked his thumb over it lovingly. He waited for her to give him a sign before he leaned in and gently brushed his lips against for the first time in weeks.

Meredith reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, never wanting to forget this moment. She had almost forgotten what it was like to kiss Derek and she never wanted that to happen ever again.

Of course it was going to be hard work to even get close to being back to how they were but they both knew it would be well and truly with it.

If things come easy then it sometimes isn't worth it so this was definitely worth it. They would be a family again.

*a/n*
right so a few chapters were deleted for some reason and I've tried my best to get it sorted but please let me know if it doesn't make sense!! Sorry it took me so long to get this story back up!!

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