Chapter 59

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There was no denying that Derek was nervous. His hands were sweating whilst he couldn't keep his leg from bouncing as he waited for Lexie to arrive. But what he did know, they had to get things sorted, for Meredith's sake. So that's why he sat there, watching the door and waiting for Lexie to arrive, his coffee forgotten about as it now sat cold in his cup.

Every time the bell above the door rang, Derek would look up, taking a deep sigh of relief when he realised that it wasn't Lexie but he knew it wouldn't be long until she did actually arrive.

Once again, the bell rang again but something in Derek's gut told him not to look.

"Thank you." The feeling in his gut was confirmed when he heard Lexies voice from her door. 

Taking a deep breath in, he finally looked up and his eyes met Lexies, her face immediately turning into a scowl when she saw him.

"Lexie, can we tal..." he was cut off when Lexie held her hand up and walked over to him.

"What the hell is going on? Where's Mark?" Lexie asked, a deep frown on her face as she looked around.

"He isn't here. I asked him to set you up because I knew if you knew it was me meeting you here then you wouldn't come and I really wanted to talk to you." Derek said as he reached up and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I don't have time for this." Lexie shook her head and turned to leave but stopped when Derek cleared his voice.

"Please. For Meredith's sake." He watched as Lexie took a deep breath in before finally turning round and taking the seat.

"You've got 15 minutes." She said as she held her hand out towards the chair opposite her and waited for Derek to take a seat.

"Look, I know no matter how many times I apologise it will never be enough." He said as he took his seat once again. "But I can't keep up watching Meredith cry because she misses her sister."

"I had to do it." Lexie shrugged. "All that time you was treating Meredith like shit or when you left her. Do you remember that? When you just disappeared and left her with your daughter, do you remember?"

"Yes." Derek placed his hands on the table and looked down at them. "I will never forgive myself for that but I went really dark Lexie. I was at rock bottom and I knew if I stuck around then I was only going to hurt Meredith and Annie more. I love them too much to do that."

"Help me understand Derek." Lexie said as she leaned forward. "But did you forget that Meredith was in that accident as well? She had to give birth not knowing if you or Annie was going to survive. All them nights you wasn't there, I had to stay over because she would waking up in sweat, shouting your name, she was struggling. Her trauma was so overlooked because everyone was just worrying about you..." Lexie admitted as the tears started forming in her eyes.

"I...I had no idea..." Derek admitted, ashamed that he had failed to notice how much Meredith was struggling because he was too distracted by his own struggles.

"Of course you didn't. Meredith made me promise that I wouldn't say anything because she wanted to protect you. But you needed to know, you needed to realise what she was going through." Lexie sighed. "Look I certainly can't forgive you yet but maybe we can try...try to get back to what we was because I do miss my sister and Annie..."

"I'm really sorry Lexie. For everything." Derek finally looked up and they looked at one another, tears in both of their eyes. "I will forgive myself for the way I treated Meredith but I'm trying, I'm trying to get better for both of my girls."

"I know." Lexie gave him a soft smile before reaching out and taking his hands in hers before squeezing them gently. "But if you ever hurt her again, then I will kill you."

Derek laughed before he saw the serious expression on her face which immediately caused him to stop laughing and gulp in fear. Lexie couldn't keep in anymore when she saw the genuine fear on his face and broke out into a fit of laughter.

"You should see your face." Lexie laughed as Derek finally breathed a sigh of relief.

"I know what you Greys are like." Derek laughed and shook his head. "Thanks for staying Lexie and for being there for Meredith, I can't say how much I appreciate it."

"She's my sister." Lexie shrugged before looking at her watch. "Look I've got to go but tell Meredith I'll come and see her."

"I will." Derek said as he smiled up at Lexie. "Bye Lexie."

"Bye Derek." Lexie smiled once more before moving out of the door, leaving Derek alone once again.

This was just the start, of getting things back on track. He knew he had a lot of people to apologise to and he was making it his mission to do so. He didn't deserve any of this but he was grateful that Meredith had given him another chance.

Deciding he had been sitting around for long enough, he pulled his keys out of his pocket and headed out to his car, desperate to get home to his family.

It didn't take him long to get home, as he pulled into the drive and found Meredith standing in the kitchen window with Annie in her arms. She smiled and waved at him before reaching Annie's small hand up and waved at him.

He couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he waved back at them before climbing out of his car and headed into the house.

"Hey." Meredith smiled as he stepped into the house. "How was it?" She said with a slight frown on his face.

Derek walked up to her and kissed her quickly before saying a quick hello to Annie before answering her.

"Surprisingly really good." He laughed when Meredith looked up at him in shock. "I mean she did threaten to kill me if I ever hurt you again."

"Oh there it is." Meredith laughed before leaning into Derek's side. "Thank you for doing that, I know...I mean, it means a lot to me that you're trying to mend the ties with my family."

"Our family." Derek smiled as they looked into one another's eyes.

"Hey do you want to see something?" Meredith smiled widely as Derek nodded his head. "Hey Annie, give us a smile. Come on, give us a smile." Meredith cooed down at their daughter as she looked up to them with her wide blue eyes.

Derek watched and listened as Meredith spoke to his daughter until she finally smiled. Her first smile. He could feel his heart about to burst with pride and love as he watched Annie smiled widely.

"Wow, look at that." Derek said as he took Annie into his arms. "You're getting so big, yes you are." Derek watched as Annie smiled again as he held her close in his arms and look at Meredith with tears in his eyes.

"Pretty incredible right?" Meredith asked as Derek simply nodded his head, unable to get a word out.

"Yeah." Derek finally said softly as he wrapped his free arm around Meredith's shoulder and pulled her in close, kissing the top of his head.

He knew how rewarding it was being a father, he had heard countless stories but actually experiencing it was a whole new level of happiness. It was everything he had wanted and more.

They had already lost so much and he was determined not to lose anymore. His main priority would always be his family and nothing would ever change that.

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