Chapter 24

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The room was silent and it was driving Meredith insane. She was beyond fed up of looking at the same four white walls and she just wanted to go home, to get away from the stares and the whispering.

"Hey Mer, I brought breakfast." Derek smiled as he walked back into her room with a brown bag in his hands. "I know you don't like the hospital food, so I ran out to get you some of them pancakes you like with the strawberries and chocolate sauce. I was hoping I'd be back before you was awake."

Derek stepped closer to Meredith's bed as he started getting the food out of the bag and placing it in front of her.

"Thank you." Meredith smiled at him softly.

Derek had been an been nothing but perfect, looking after Meredith and holding her when she cried, he was just perfect. He deserved better than her.

"I spoke to Dr Taylor and she said you will be getting discharged later, we can finally go home." He said as he sat next to her.

"Great." She forced a smile to him and took a piece of the pancake and forced herself to swallow it, suddenly not hungry.

"Are you ok?" Derek leaned forward and ran his hand up and down her back.

"I'm fi..." she stopped herself before carrying on. "Not I'm ok, I just lost our baby Derek. The baby I didn't even know if I wanted and then as soon as I decided that I did, the universe smacked me down and made me lose it. So stopping asking me if I'm ok and just stop hovering!" Meredith snapped before pushing herself up and heading to the bathroom as she slammed the door.

The room was left in silence as Derek leaned back in his chair and sighed to himself. He knew it wouldn't be long before Meredith snapped but he couldn't help but feel at a complete loss right now, he had no idea what to do.

A light knock of the door drew him out of his gaze as he turned to find Mark peering his head around the door.

"Hey man, how are we?" Mark asked as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

"Not good, Meredith isn't speaking to me and she's currently in there." He whispered to Mark as he pointed to the door leading towards the bathroom.

"Look, it's going to be hard for a while but you will get through this." Mark said as he moved to give Derek's shoulder a quick and comforting squeeze. "I've just come to bring the discharge papers, Dr Taylor was called into a surgery and I know you probably didn't want a gossiping nurse in here so..."

Mark handed the papers to Derek, giving one another a comforting smile.

"Look, I'll leave you to it, you know where I am if either of you need anything." Mark gave one last comforting smile before leaving the room.

Pushing himself up, Derek headed over to the door where he gave a light knock.

"Hey Mer." He met with silence. "I've got your discharge papers here, once they are filled out we can go. I'll just get a start on this, just thought you'd like to know." Derek left it at that before moving back to his chair before starting to fill out the paper.

Eventually, the door to the bathroom slowly opened and Meredith shuffled out to lean on the door frame.

"I'm still bleeding..." she said just loud enough for Derek to hear.

"Mer, the doctor said that was normal but if gets heavy then we will be back straight here. Come here." He placed the paper work down and held his arms open for her.

At first she hesitated but eventually, she pushed herself of the door frame and moved over to place herself down into his lap.

"How do we get pass this?" Meredith asked, showing her vulnerability.

"Honestly, I don't know." Derek admitted. "But we will get through this Mer, together." He tracked down and linked their hands together as he ran his thumb over the back of her hand.

"Together." She repeated softly and quietly.

They finally got the paper work filled out before Derek grabbed their bags and they headed down to his car before finally heading home. Meredith stayed quiet as she kept her eyes on the window and watched as the scenery passed them by.

Derek kept his hand on her thigh and kept stealing glances at Meredith as he manoeuvred his way home before finally pulling into their drive.

"Hey Mer, we are home." Derek gave her thigh a light squeeze in order to not make her jump.

"Oh, good." She sighed but made no move to get out of the car.

"Come on, we should go inside, get something to eat."

"I'm not hungry." Meredith shook her head. "I just...just want to sleep." She said before finally undoing her seat belt and heading inside.

Derek sighed before moving out of his car and heading to grab their bags before following Meredith inside. Walking inside, he found Meredith curled up of the sofa and sobbing again.

"Mer." He dropped the bags and immediately ran over to her. "Shh..."

"No, get off of me!" Meredith's exclaimed before pushing him off of her. "You don't understand how I feel, so stop telling me this will all be ok because we both know that's bullshit!"

"Why are you acting like you are the only one that lost this baby?" Derek finally snapped back. "We both lost this baby, we are both hurting."

"No, you don't understand, this is different. I experienced this, my body went through this. I felt myself losing this baby, I felt the blood spread down my thighs, I just...don't fucking sit there and act like Mr Perfect because I don't need this right now!"

"Fine!" Derek snapped, knowing this was all part of the grieving process but he hated that they were arguing as bad as they were right now.

"I'm going to bed, sleep on the couch tonight!" Meredith snapped once more before heading for their room and slammed the door.

Being alone allowed Derek to finally break down and cry. The whole time in hospital, he had been strong for Meredith and not let it show how much this had broken him but right now, in this moment, he couldn't hold back anymore.

The question was, would they really get through this?

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