Chapter 51

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"Carolyn, honestly you don't have to stay if you don't want to." Meredith said as she cleaned some of Annie's bottles. "I mean, hopefully Derek will be discharged soon."

"Meredith dear, I always stay with my daughters when they have a baby." Carolyn said as she placed a tray of food in the oven. "Especially when it's their first baby."

"Well, I appreciate." Meredith turned as she dried her hands on a tea towel and turned to face her. "I mean, I cant wait to have Derek home but it's going to be hard work, you know with a new born and..." she glanced towards where Annie was sleeping in her bouncer.

"I will be here." Carolyn moved to squeeze her shoulder. "All of us will be there for you, both of you."

"Thank you Carolyn." Meredith turned and gave her a smile. "Will you be alright watching her if I quickly head up for a bath?"

"Of course. Take your time." Carolyn waved her away before watching her head towards the stairs.

Meredith took her time to head up the stairs, her body still aching from the accident but she had no choice but to carry on. She just had to keep going. Whilst she was excited to have Derek home, she knew it was going to be a big change for them and she knew it was going to be intense.

Deciding against a bath, out of fear of falling asleep, she turned the shower on and waited it for to warm her. Her body screaming for some sleep. Stripping her clothes off, she stepped into the shower and allowed the warm water to beat against her body, finally feeling relaxed for the first time in days.

                                 **************

It was hours later, meaning Carolyn had gone to get Derek, leaving Meredith alone with Annie. She was sleeping peacefully against Meredith's chest as she sat and watched out the window.

Waiting.

It was all she could, just wait. Annie cooed against her chest and smacked her lips together before moving to rest her tiny hand against Meredith's chest.

"Daddy is coming home." Meredith smiled. "We are so happy to have him home but he might not be himself for a while. But I promise once we are back to normal, things will be amazing. We will make sure you have the best childhood. I promise." She whispered as she moved to press her lips to the top of her head.

The sound of a car pulling into the drive caught her attention as she looked up and saw Derek climbing out of the car. His arm was still wrapped tightly in a sling and his face still bruised slightly but he looked much better than before.

Pushing herself up, she kept a firm grip on Annie's back and stood up, moving her to her arms as she walked to greet Derek.

"Hey." Meredith smiled with tears in her eyes as Derek finally walked back through their door. For so long she never thought that he would get the chance again.

"Hey." He replied shortly, a blank expression on his face as he looked around the house. "I need a drink." Derek walked straight pass the two of them, not even stopping to say hello to her or Annie.

Meredith watched as he walked away before disappearing behind the kitchen door.

"Don't take it personally." Meredith turned back towards the front door when she heard Carolyn's voice. "He barely said a word on the way home, basically had to force a single word out of him. It's a big adjustment for him, feeling useless and having to have help for everything."

"Yeah well it's not walk in the park for me either." Meredith replied shortly. "I won't accept him ignoring Annie, me that's fine I can take it. He wouldn't be the first person to pretend I am not here but Annie deserves better." Meredith said, starting to get annoyed with the whole situation.

Without saying another word, Meredith turned and moved back to the living room as she comforted a now fussy Annie. Pulling her top up and grabbing the blanket off the back of the sofa, she moved Annie so she was able to latch on and start eating.

She loved every minute of being able to feed her daughter, there was no other moment like it. No matter what was going on at the time, it was all forgotten when Annie was feeding.

"He blames himself Meredith..." Carolyn carefully approached the room and watched as Meredith kept her eyes on Annie. "For the accident, he blames himself..."

"But we survived." Meredith finally looked up from Annie and met Carolyn's eyes. "We survived and now he is ignoring, how does that make any sense? Please tell me because I don't know how much longer I can deal with this, I know just got home but I refuse to live in a home full of silence..."

"Meredith..." Carolyn started but was interrupted by Meredith.

"No Carolyn, Derek is a grown man. He can speak for himself, I don't want you to speak for him anymore. He isn't a child." Meredith stated.

"Don't speak to my ma like that!" Derek spat as he stood in the doorway of the living room, a deep frown on his face. "She's just looking out for me."

"Yeah, well what about us." Meredith kept her voice down and tried her best not to move too much, clearly not wanting to disturb Annie. "We are your family..."

"Yeah well start acting like it." Derek sighed as he slightly rolled his eyes. "Ma, I think I'm going to come and stay at yours for a few days."

"What?" Both Carolyn and Meredith replied as they turned to him with a shocked expression on their faces.

"The doctors said I need peace and quiet to have recovery properly, I'm clearly not going to have that here." He kept his eyes on Carolyn's face meaning he missed the heartbreak that spread across Meredith's face.

"Excuse me." Meredith whispered as she adjusted her top and placed Annie on her shoulder, rubbing her back and waiting for to burp as she disappeared out of the room.

"I'll go and get my bag." Derek turned to leave.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd stop right there now!" Carolyn exclaimed as she stood up, fire burning in her belly. "Stop right there and look at me."

Derek reluctantly turned around and faced Carolyn, knowing that he was about to get his ass handed to him on a plate.

"I can't even begin to express how disappointed I am. What was meant to be the most beautiful and best day of Meredith's life turned to a nightmare as she had to give birth in a wrecked car as she watched you all but die in front of her. Not once has she complained about anything, she's continued to be an amazing mother even know she didn't know if you was going to make it. Not to mention she did all of that on top of all of her injuries." Carolyn shook her head at Derek. "So you won't be coming to stay with me, you're going to stay here and be a father to that little girl and the partner Meredith deserves. I'm going home Derek."

Carolyn moved to pick her bag up and walked passed Derek, another word not spoken between them, leaving Derek alone.

He was aware he had messed up. Completely messed up. But he didn't know how he was going to forgive himself when he was the one driving that day, the day that had changed their lives forever...

But he had to push all of that to the back of his mind, he had to because it wasn't just him anymore. He had Meredith and his daughter to think about and he promised himself that he would do everything in his power to make it up to them, starting now.

*a/n*
I promise I didn't abandon this story but I wasn't sure where to take it but I finally have some ideas!! Thanks for sticking with me and my awful updates haha, promise I will get better <3

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