Chapter 26

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It was finally time for Meredith to head back to work, she was cleared by her doctors and told that everything was alright and when they decided to try again to have a baby that should have no troubles. But she couldn't bring herself to move as stood looking at her reflection in the mirror in the bathroom.

"Hey." Meredith jumped as she felt Derek's hand go to rest on her back as he walked up behind. "Sorry." He laughed slightly.

"It's fine." She laughed slightly before moving back to rest in his arms, her back pressed into his chest as his arms wrapped around her waist.

"You going to be ok today?" Derek asked as he pressed his lips against her neck before meeting her eyes in the mirror.

"Yeah, I should be..." Meredith sighed. "It's just I can't deal with all the staring and gossiping."

"I know it's easier said than done Mer, but just ignore them, they mean nothing to you or us. I'm so proud of you and you're going to go back to work and be the best surgeon you know how to be. But if it becomes too much then phone me and I will come and see you, I've got a slow day today." Derek said as he squeezed her tight.

"Ok." She smiled softly at him before turning in his arms to wrap her arms around his neck and press her lips to his. "I need to get going."

"You've got this, dinner will be waiting for you when you get home later." He smiled at her before kissing her once more before guiding her downstairs and down to her car. In which he stood in the driveway and waved her off as her car disappeared out of his view.

Derek had failed to mention to Meredith that he had decided to take the day off work so he moved back inside and collapsed down on to the couch. The last few weeks had been exhausting, dealing with the miscarriage had nearly broke them but they were slowly getting back on track.

A knock on the door caused Derek to sit up and frown as he pushed himself up and headed for the door. Pulling open the door, he sighed when he saw his mom standing there.

"Hey ma." He said pulling the door open for her to step in.

"Hey son." She kissed him on the cheek as she took off her coat in which Derek took off her and hung it up on the coat rack. "How have things been?"

"Yeah...there good." Derek forced a smile on to his face before heading into the kitchen, Carolyn following him closely.

"You do know that I know you right?" Carolyn said as they stepped into the kitchen. "I know when you're lying to me."

"Ma, please...don't." Derek poured themselves both a cup of coffee before going to sit opposite her. "I just...don't want to talk about it." He shrugged his shoulders and forced his eyes to look down.

"Derek..." Carolyn reached out to rest her hand on his. "I know how much you wanted that baby, how much you want to be a father, your time will come. But can't bottle up your feelings, especially around me." She gave his hand a squeeze and watched as he finally looked up to face her.

"When Mer told me she was pregnant, I was scared at first, I mean it all happened so quick and we have talked about having kids but in years to come. Then, when I thought about having a baby that was the perfect combination of me and Meredith, it made my heart swell with pure joy. I wanted that baby but I'm not sure Meredith did, so I told her that I would support her no matter what and I meant that. But...but the day we lost the baby, she told me that she wanted the baby, then that was all ripped away from us..." Derek took his free hand and wiped away the tears that had begun to stream down his face.

"Oh Derek." Carolyn held on to Derek's hand tightly, giving the occasional squeeze as he got it all out and finally allowed himself to open up and show his vulnerable side to someone other than Meredith. "Have you told Meredith how you feel?"

"Sort of." He shrugged. "I just feel...she has had so much going on and been through so much that I don't want to put this on top of her as well. I don't want her to feel even more guilty, I mean I've told her she has nothing to feel guilty about but I know her and I know she will blame herself. I can't do that to her ma, I love her too much."

"I know you do son, but you need to tell her." Carolyn let go of Derek's hand and stood up, moving to stand next to him as she ran her hands over his hair. "How about I stay and cook you and Meredith some dinner?"

"I will really like that ma, thank you." He turned and smiled up at her. "I'm just going to go and take a shower."

"Ok." Carolyn smiled and watched as Derek moved out of the room. As a mother she hated watching her kids going through again tough, but right now she could really do with having their father here right now cause he would know how to comfort Derek right now.

Deciding to keep herself busy, Carolyn started giving the kitchen a good clean, humming away to herself as she heard the front door open. Frowning herself she stepped forward as she thought Derek was leaving but found Meredith walking in.

"Hello Meredith." She said softly.

"Carolyn, hey. I didn't know you was coming today, isn't Derek working?" Meredith frowned as she placed her bag down.

"No." She shook her head. "He decided not to go in, he is upstairs, said he was going for a shower but that was a good hour ago now so..."

"Oh, right." Meredith sighed. "I'm just going to go and check on him." She pointed to the stairs.

"Ok dear, I'm going to start preparing dinner soon so don't feel like you have to rush back downstairs." Carolyn smiled softly at her.

"Thank you Carolyn." Meredith smiled back before heading upstairs.

Moving to their room, she found it empty, including the bathroom, so she frowned to herself as she headed down the landing before finding the spare room door open. Pushing it open slowly, she found Derek sitting on the single bed, staring out the window.

"Derek." She watched as he turned to face her, a smile on his face at first but turning into a frown as he checked his watch.

"You're home early, what happened? Are you ok?" He asked, concern in his voice.

"Yeah, it...I'm just exhausted. So I did a couple of surgeries and then asked to come home. I just didn't want to be there any longer than I had to be." She shrugged before moving to sit next to Derek on the bed.

"Good." He reached down and took her hand in his, squeezing it tight.

"How come you didn't go to work today Derek?" Meredith asked as she lovingly ran her thumb over the back of his hand.

"I don't know..." he admitted before turning back to face Meredith. "They always ask questions, hover around me like I'm going to break or snap. I've not been given any new cases so I'm just doing paperwork and even more paperwork, I just couldn't deal with it today."

He took a look round the room, the room that they should have been transforming into a nursery.

"We are going to be alright aren't we?" Meredith asked which caused Derek to snap his head back in her direction.

"What? Meredith of course we are." He let go of her hand and cupped her face in his hands. "We are going to more than alright."

"I really wanted that baby Derek, I wanted us to be a family." She said as their eyes met.

"Me too Mer, me too. But we will have our baby one day, our little mini me or you, we will be a family. I promise." He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers softly.

After their short kiss, they moved into each other's arms were they held on to each other tightly.

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