Becoming One

Apologies

Zoro sat patiently waiting for breakfast. Not noticing the bead of sweat going down the side of the blondes face. 

Sanji thought that this would be the perfect time to talk but he can't seem to make his mouth move to actually talk. Nothing is coming out. So he busies his hands by making them breakfast and he knows he gathered a lot of eggs but he knows both he and Zoro eat a bit more than the "normal" people on the crew, plus they are on a winter island, they expend more energy than normal. It'll help keep them warm. 

When Sanji realize he is done he is sitting at the table with a mountain of omelettes. Zoro is already digging in while Sanji takes his time. This doesn't seem to be the right time but when is the right time? Sanji looks up at Zoro, he could tell, specially after being with Zoro for years, that Zoro is really enjoying the omelettes.  

Sanji decides to say it, before he's eaten most of the food and feels like throwing up because of the pressure or the nerves. "Zoro," Sanji says getting the marimo to slow a little in his eating, also turning his eyes to the blonde, "I want to say sorry." Sanji takes a breath and looks up to meet the greys of Zoro's eyes. The swordsman blinks as he chew what's in his mouth. "For getting mad at you when Nami told me that you wanted to leave me. I was just upset because of how happy I was to be back and then to learn that I was almost left hurt me." Sanji tells him, watching the swordsman's reaction. 

Zoro shrugs as he swallows, looking back down at his plate as he cut up his omelett. "It doesn't matter, it's not a secret. I thought we were doing what you wanted but I should have known Luffy wouldn't let you go that easily."

"I know. I thought it was best this way, I also should have know Luffy wouldn't let go, but I was hoping you guys wouldn't show up. Also I shouldn't have said what I said, that no one would love you. That was going too far. I didn't need to react like that. It wasn't your fault." Sanji says, and Zoro could see it in the blondes blue eye that he meant it. Zoro just nods.

"It must not have been nice to be back with your horrible family." Zoro says, shoving the fork into his mouth. 

"I'm also sorry for yelling at you about being connected to you. I just couldn't accept the situation fully. It came crashing down the reality of the situation." 

Zoro swallows, "so being with me is that horrible?" Zoro asks feeling sad. Sanji shakes his head.

"I just didn't know I'd be forced to be with you." Sanji says. Zoro nods again, that made sense. He could understand those feelings. It also didn't hit that he will be forced to be with Sanji either. "I'm sorry for just being mean to you without understanding you first." Sanji says.

"Then I'm also sorry for not thinking to see this from your point of view." Zoro says back. Sanji smiles.

"You weren't as bad as me, there isn't a need to apologize for anything."

"But still, this situation is hard on us both." Zoro answers. Sanji's smile grows.

"Let's finish eating. We have chores to do." Sanji tells him. Zoro nods, continue inhaling on the food. Sanji also eats his fill. 

When they are finished Zoro lays down on the floor, happily stuffed while Sanji cleans the dishes, washing the kitchen a little.

When Sanji is in a place to rest, the dishes clean and the water boiling the meat for the soup he plans to make, he turns to see Zoro is gone. He looks around but he sees Zoro's swords still inside so he can guess where Zoro went. Sanji looks at the water, it's not fully boiled yet but he adds some basil and cilantro, lowering the heat. He puts his shoes on and goes out. 

He's shocked when he doesn't find Zoro in the greenhouse but he figures Zoro went further in so he goes further in too. 

Zoro wasn't in the farm so he goes deeper.

He finds Zoro taking care of the animals. Petting the cows, then going over to be with some of the pigs. The pigs go away so Zoro goes back to the cows. 

"What are you doing?" Sanji asks, really curious. 

"I miss Chopper." Is all Zoro answers. Sanji smiles. 

"What?" The blonde wonders, not expecting to hear something so sweet come out of the marimos mouth.

"When it gets cold Chopper comes to my bunk bed and sleeps with me. He's warm." Zoro says. Sanji blinks.

"Were you cold last night?" Sanji asks.

"Yeah." Zoro answers. They might need to get more blankets. 

"Hey Zoro," Sanji starts petting the cow himself, nervous to look at Zoro, "what should our relationship be now?" he wonders. 

Zoro looks at him shocked. "What do you want our relationship to be?" Zoro asks. He didn't think Sanji would want a relationship. He didn't even think Sanji would say sorry. 

Sanji looks away, "I know we can't go back to the way it was, not with us having to... have sex at least once a week but I think it's best we try to be something."

"Mmm," Zoro hums in thought. He makes sense. "I don't know how far I would be willing to go, but we can start out as friends." Zoro smiles at Sanji, the blonde felt a pain in his heart. 

"Do you like Salomon that much?" Sanji asks, and Zoro's blush answers the questions.

"He was the only one that... cared? Was interested?" Zoro wonders what the right word is, he's not use to talking about his own feelings. He doesn't know what the right word to describe what he felt then. 

"What do you mean?" Sanji asks not understanding. Of course they all care about him, he's apart of the crew. What does he mean interested? Interested in what? He and Brook talk sometimes. Zoro gives him a blank look.

"What is the name of my swords?" Zoro asks. Sanji blinks.

"Uh... Jimmy? I don't know." Sanji answers, feeling bad because Zoro may have just proved his point.

"The white one is named Wado, the one I've had since I met you." Zoro answers, looking away from Sanji. He's not upset, he knows none of his crew mates could name his swords. "No one has ever asked me what their names are. No one actually talked to me, try to even get to know me. Salomon did. He sat with me in the crows nest, talking to me about swords and fighting. He asked me what I like, what I enjoy, what I was thinking about."

"Oh." Sanji says. He tries to think about an instant Zoro is wrong but he can't. No one talks to Zoro to talk to him. Someone always asks Usopp what he's working on, or what Nami is mapping, or what is Robin reading, but no one cared enough to ask what Zoro is doing, or was interested enough to ask what Zoro's swords are called. Honestly he didn't think they had names. 

"It was nice while it lasted." Zoro says in the silence, hands continue to pet the cow.