Chapter 4

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I was on my way to school and I've been reeling about the dream I had last night. The reason being is that it seemed too real to be just a dream. I know it was impossible but everything I felt, felt real. His touch, his warmth, his scent, and the emotions he evoked out of me...everything felt real. I sighed. Dreams are just dreams Zenande and they don't come true especially for you. I felt the familiar pang in my heart. Ever since I've met the handsome man, my heart has been aching and longing constantly. It was high time I snapped out of it and got back to my senses. I needed to do well at school so that I can graduate and move out of my parents' house. There was no space to be thinking about men and longing for what didn't belong to me.

I was attending my third class of the day and I wasn't going to lie and say my eyes didn't wonder around checking to see if I could catch a glimpse of the handsome man because that would be a lie. I know I know. I just couldn't help myself. And every time I thought I saw someone that resembled him but was actually not him, my heart ached even more. I kept on rubbing my chest to try lessen the pain but that didn't seem to be helping. I never knew that one's heart could physically hurt just by missing someone.

Precious one

I jumped up my chair and looked around the room expecting to see him, which made everyone in the room give me weird looks including the lecturer, but nothing. Huh. I swear that had been his voice calling me. I sat back down confused and a bit shaken up. His voice had been clear as day. No Zenande, it must be all in your head. You've been thinking about him too much. Stop it. I blew out a breath and tried to concentrate on the lecture.

Precious one

There it was again. His voice. This time I didn't jump up but I did look around crazily. No sign of him. Oh my god! What was happening to me? Was I going mad right now? But no man, I swear I heard him. Really Zenande? Even if you did, how is it possible that you're the only one hearing him? So are trying to say he's talking in your head? Seriously? Get a grip. I shook myself. My brain was right, I needed to get a grip.

The rest of my classes ended without anymore incidents but I was still a bit shaken up. As I walked towards the library, I kept looking left and right, back and forth. Sheesh! I was really losing my marbles. I blamed that darn dream I had last night. I did what I went to do at the library and went home.

Mom: "You smell." That's the first thing she said when I entered the kitchen.
Me: "I do?" I asked sniffing myself and smelling nothing out of the ordinary.
Mom: "Yes, you're covered in dog smell." She said with a disgusted face. A dog smell? ... "did you pass by a doghouse on your..." She said trailing off and then she got a funny look on her face... "do you perhaps have a new friend that we don't know about?" I shook my head slowly... "oh." She said giving me a suspicious look. Honestly, I was shocked. This is the longest she has ever spoken to me.  Scout's honor. When I said my family was distant, I meant it. They practically ignored me and only spoke to me when they really needed to.
Sophia: "Dear Lord, what is that awful smell?" She appeared holding her nose.
Mom: "It's your sister." Sophia turned to me and sneered. I looked down to my feet and fidgeted with my fingers.
Sophia: "Didn't take you as a dog lover sister." Sister. Daughter. There's nothing in this world I hated more than those two words growing up. When my family called or referred to me, it was always by those two words, never by my actual name.
Me: "I'll go wash up." I said in a small voice.
Sophia: "Yes please do that." I turned to leave... "and burn those clothes while at it."

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