So this is love? ~ Elmax

Feelings

~ Eleven POV ~

It has been 137 days since I left Hawkins. I've been writing to my boyfriend, Mike every day. That made me feel somewhat not alone. I have Will who keeps me company, he is a good brother, but I think he misses his friends too. I miss my friends, mostly Max. It's weird, I catch myself thinking about her and how much I miss her and our talks, sleepovers and shopping trips together. But mostly I think about her and her pretty hair and her blue eyes and the nicknames she has for me. But I don't know why. I think about her more then Mike which I think is weird, but I can't help it. Mike writes me back every day, but I can't help but notice that he signs his letters with: From, Mike. While I always sign mine with: Love, El.

Doesn't he love me anymore? What is love? Love is that you like someone very much and want to be with them and to kiss and cuddle them, that's what Mike told me. I like Mike and I like to be with him. So that means I love him right? Hopper used to say he loved me too, As a dad loves his kid. How he loved Sarah. He wanted to take care of me. I love him as a dad and miss him so very much.

So love could mean different things. Good things. I am still learning what all of these different things mean. But I was confused as of why if I loved Mike, I thought about Max all the time. I learned that girls can't love other girls. Not like that. I don't know why they can't, but a lot of people say that it's wrong. So I didn't think about it too much.

I shake my head out of thought as I hear a knock on my bedroom door. The door was already open. I always keep it open 3 inches- that's what my dad always told me and I still do it. Hoping he will return one day. It was Will standing in front of the door.

"Hey El? Can I come in?" He asks as he peeks inside. I put down my school project as I face the door. "Yes, you can come in."

I was making a diorama of my hero. My dad. I am making our cabin and even a little figure of him and Mr Fibley, he is a squirrel.

"Hi." Will smiles softly as he comes in. "Hi." I smile back. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Is that okay?" He looks at me as he fumbles with his shirt. "Yes of course, that's what sisters are for." I proudly smile. He chuckles softly as he wanted to close the door behind him. "Don't close the door please! I have to keep it open 3 inches remember?" I explain as I look at Will with big eyes. "Right, yes, sorry I forgot." He mumbles as he left the door open 3 inches and walks over to the bed and sat on it to face me. "So, it's almost time for summer break." Will smiles. "Yes! I am so excited." I smile as I was relieved that I didn't have to go to school. I got bullied a lot. They called me weird and crazy. Mostly by this girl Angela.

But I lied to Mike, that I had a lot of friends, so he didn't have to worry about me. Mike was coming over in summer break to visit us. I am very happy to see him again soon.

"Yea, so I might have this Idea. What if we go to the rollerskate ring together once Mike is here?" He suggested. I looked at him. "Rollerskate? What is that?" I ask him as I turn my head slightly. "Oh, uh, you put on these shoes with wheels and you ride them! Like - like a bike or no, like Max her skateboard!" He explains.

Max. Her name kept repeating in my head. I miss her so much. I wish I could see her this summer break. If I still had my powers I could have seen her in my mind. I could have-

"Eleven?!" Will shook my arm softly as I got snapped back into reality. "Yes?" I asked confused. "Did you hear what I just said?" He asks as he looks at me. I look back at him as I slightly tilt my head. "No." I simply say as he chuckles. "I saaaid, maybe me and Mike can teach you to play DND as well. Like old times! You could be our mage. " He proudly explained. I got a overwhelmed by a wave of sadness reminding me of the loss of my powers. I looked down at the ground as I took a deep breath.

"oh El I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" "No it's okay, and I would like to learn. Dee eN Dee. " I softly smile as I look at Will. He chuckles as responds to my poor translation of DND. "Thank you El, that means a lot to me." He smiles. I smile back. He wanted to get up from the bed as I quickly grab his wrist. "Can I ask you something?" I ask as I meet his eyes as he turns around to face me.

"Do you miss Mike?" I ask as I slightly shift my head. Will his cheeks turn a light red. "Y-Yes ofcourse I do. Why would you-" "Do you miss any other friend more? Or as much as Mike?" Will his face turned even more red. "I- I guess I miss them all evenly? But Mike has always been very close with me and- I think I miss him the most, but the other too ofcourse! Why?" He said blushing. "Why are you turning red?" I ask as I point to his cheeks. "It's just hot in here that's all." He mumbles as he turns his face away. "but why would you ask that?" He asks as his red face slightly faded away.

"I miss Mike, but I also miss my other friends like I miss Mike. But not as much as I miss Max. Is that wrong of me?" I ask confused. "Oh, uh no I guess that it's not? I mean she's your only girl friend, so I guess that's different." He explains. "But Mike is my Boyfriend does that make Max my Girlfriend like you said?" I tilt my head as I meet his eyes. "No, that's not what I meant. I meant it as your only friend, who is a girl." Will explains.

"So my girlfriend?" I ask again. "No that's something else. That is when you have a relationship with Max. Then you call her your girlfriend. Like the relationship you have with Mike." He explains as he sat down on the bed again. I sat down on the bed next to Will as I face him.

"But girls can't be in a relationship together. That's bad."

"Who told you that?" Will asks as he looks concerned. "I heard it at school and outside. They say it's wrong. A sin. I didn't know what a sin meant, so I looked it up. Turns out it also means very bad. " I softly nod. "El, those people are just being assholes!" Will suddenly got very defensive. "Assholes?" I repeat. "Yes, they don't know what they are talking about. If you love someone then you should be able to be with them. Despite their gender. A lot of people don't like the idea of a boy and a boy together or a girl and a girl. But I think love is love and it shouldn't matter. " Will explains passionately.

I look at will with admiration. "So a girl and a girl. a boy and a boy, can be together if they want?" I ask him as I was really interested in what he had to say. "Yes. I think so. I hope so-" He says as he looks down. "So what is love? Because Mike never says it back and I'm not sure if I just don't understand what it means or if he doesn't love me." I explain to Will as I look at the ground.

"He never says it back?" Will asks. I couldn't help but hear a little bit of excitement in his voice. "He always says: From, Mike. While I say Love, El." I explain. Will looks at me as he scratches his head. "I don't know why he doesn't say it back." Will answers honestly. "But Love- Love means that you feel good when you think about them. You think about them constantly. You feel these butterflies in your stomach. This- this tingling in your hands when you are near them and when you look at them you just feel- like you see the whole world in front of you. " Will explains. I looked at him with big eyes. "How do butterflies get into your stomach?" Will laughs. "It's just a expression. They say it like that, because it feels like a lot of butterflies are flying around in your stomach when you are near them or touch them or even think about them." He explains. I nod as I face him.

"You know a lot about Love. Have you been in love Will?" I ask as I tilt my head. Will stood up quickly. "I think my mom is calling me." He nervously walks to the door. "No she didn't-" "She didn't?- Oh Well- I have a lot of homework so I gotta go! See you at dinner!" He mumbles as he quickly leaves the room. I giggles softly as I shrug.

Butterflies in my stomach? Do I feel that when Mike is around? I can't really remember, I never paid attention to it. I will have to check when he comes over. I turn back to my desk as I pick up my paint brush again and hold up the little figure I made of hopper.

"I wish you were here dad, you'd know what to do."

AN// Hi guys! Hope you like the first chapter!~ I know it isn't much of Elmax yet, but this is only a intro ;) just you wait! Hope you stick around to read the rest! <3