Demons, Swords, And Other Things That Nearly Killed Me

The Clown And The Casanova

Buggy was having an... alright day

"Ah, sweetheart! Didn't think I'd save you from a giant crab, huh?"

Sometimes he wished he had never been born

Buggy seethed silently as the clouds that wrapped around him set him down on the mysterious ship that had shown up out of nowhere. His hatred grew tenfold when he heard deep chuckling coming from behind him.

"You're pretty cute when you're small, you know. What happened to the rest of your body?"

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

Why was it that whenever Crooner went missing before showing up unannounced, it was always where Buggy was?

Crooner blanched. "Not even a thank you...?" For fuck's sake, I'm literally your prince in shining armor and this is the thanks I get?

"NO!!"

His brows twitched. Figures. "Are you still angry that you had to watch my kid for two years?"

"WHY WOULDN'T I BE?! SHE'S YOUR KID!!"

The man rubbed his ear and crouched down to be eye-level with Buggy. "Calm down, will ya? It's not like you had to."

That was such bullshit that Buggy couldn't even believe what he was hearing. He damn well knew that he had no choice when he was presented with the option. It was either he said yes, or Crooner got angry.

"You didn't even PAY me!"

Crooner's brow raised. "And? You didn't ask to be compensated. Missed opportunity, if you ask me. Now, If we were married, I'd be able to pay you for child support–"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

One of his fists went to punch Crooner right in the face, but the man easily caught it and he smiled. Buggy tried again but got the same result. Then he had another idea– headbutting Crooner.

That proved to be a mistake, as Crooner easily caught Buggy by the chin with one of his other arms. He tutted and smiled down at Buggy. There was a sinister glint in Crooner's eye that Buggy didn't like one bit.

"Ah ah ah, don't you remember that I have extra arms? Though I don't have 'em out all the time, I can call upon them whenever I want. You of all people should know that, Buggy."

"LEMME GO!"

Crooner's eyes were half lidded as he tilted his head down slightly. "You're such a brat..."

"LET GO!"

"Really? Holding you like this is fun. Are you sure you don't want to get... closer?"

When Crooner's thumb ghosted over the bottom of Buggy's lip, the clown saw his chance and took it. He bit down on Crooner's thumb without hesitation. Crooner shrieked, as any person would after getting bitten by a clown and let go. Buggy was lucky that he wasn't flung away at the frantic action.

"FUCK! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, HUH?!"

"YOU'RE TRYING TO KISS ME YOU BASTARD!!"

"AND?! IT'S MORAL SUPPORT!"

"LIKE HELL IT IS! IT'S SEXUAL HARASSMENT!"

Crooner huffed and stood to his full height, kissing his thumb– bite marks clearly forming. "Well, indirect kisses are the same to me," (Buggy screamed even louder at that, his face red with anger). "You're a good biter– I wonder where you learned how to do that." Shit, he actually would have taken my thumb off if he bit any harder.