Demons, Swords, And Other Things That Nearly Killed Me

Becoming Crocodile's Doormat (Speedrun)

You didn't actually aim to hit either of them

Miss Valentine already jumped out of the way, right into the sky, like you expected, and Mr. 5 was already on the 'offensive'. If you could even call it that.

"Nose-Fancy Canon!"

Why does he use his snot to attack? Your brows creased as you leapt out of the way. He could only shoot it off in one direction and couldn't change the trajectory. That's weird as fuck.

This went on for a little bit– and long enough for the remaining Baroque Workers to run away so they wouldn't get caught up in the fight. You thought they might have helped, but you guessed not. Cowards. Just when you were starting to have fun, they had to go and get scared because they "feared for their lives". Still, you were getting tired of Mr. 5's Nose-Fancy Canon. How much snot did one guy have?

The ground behind you exploded in a shower of rocks and dirt. There were flashes of white and yellow, sometimes orange and red, behind you before it was clouded in a black smoke.

Annan fumed as you dodged out of the way of another explosive projectile. "I won't cut that!"

You grimaced. "I won't make you. It's not like he can hit us."

His bloodlust was at its peak. As long as he didn't kill them, you could let him go. You wouldn't have to hold him back like a child on one of those leashes they made for kids.

"You like playing baseball?" You asked aloud, watching as Miss Valentine floated from above you. Might as well scare 'em more.

"Do as you please. You're doing Igaram and Vivi a favor."

I'm still going to tell them that they're here to kill her.

"Uncalled for."

But needed. "Ah, the Kilo-Kilo no mi. Isn't there also some other guy who has the Ton-Ton no Mi? I heard it's way stronger." You didn't even let her say anything as you jabbed your sword in her direction. "That umbrella's ugly as fuck."

You're unhinged for what??

The pleasure of it

If your enemies don't know what the fuck's going on, they can't win

"Also, your real name's Mikita."

Her eyes widened for a moment. You smiled a little two widely as you jumped out of Mr. 5's next attack. The next explosion shook the ground and made the air tremble. Didn't matter. You knew CP-9 techniques and they didn't. Also, Soru wasn't the only technique you learned. Why would you learn Soru if you couldn't pair it with Geppo?

You twisted your body in midair as you literally stepped forward without even touching the ground. (It hurt your legs a bit– but it was a small price to pay)

"You guys are quiet. Why's that? Will this get you to talk?"

Before Miss Valentine could blink, you disappeared again. Without another word you cut through the woman's umbrella. It wouldn't make her fall, but it'd slow her down a bit. She refused to let out even an exclamation of surprise as you touched back down to the ground, this time facing her partner. She still had the top half on her umbrella to keep her afloat.

"Who is this, Mr. 5?" She asked with a lighthearted giggle.

"Beats me. She looks familiar."