H I M ; Draco Malfoy

S T A R L E S S

S T A R L E S S

V i n n i e

I was sitting on my chair as usual, writing down notes I need for my 5th year at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. I ask Fred and George for their past lesson so I could read in advance- of course they don't have notes. Good thing I have Percy.

I knocked my head up and leaned on the chair, my feet resting on my table while letting out a big sigh. I remember being a child and still had the excitement at this time of the year to have the new school year started. New lesson to learn, new books to read, new friends to make, but times passed. I don't belong there. In all the 4 years that I've attended there I never felt like I belonged.

There's nothing else I look forward to with going back to school other than reunite with my friends; Luna, Cho, Dean and Seamus.

My legs remain above my table while my eyes are glued to the night sky. It's funny how some nights can be starless then the next the stars would take over it again, overwhelming the dark sky with the light it provides. Of course I've read about them, scientifically, the light that the star beam are covered by the Earth's light pollution, but I'd like to think of it as a metaphor where the starless nights represents the night where your mind simply goes blank, the stars being the thoughts that you'll just hide with the pollution of your brain.

A knock disturbed me from the thoughts. I looked at the door for a few seconds and huffed up to open then door. It was mum.

"Here," she said, handing me a letter which seems to be my letter to Hogwarts "prepare your stuffs, dear" she added, patting my shoulder twice and giving me a smile. I smiled back and took the letter.

I sat back down on my chair, lift my legs back up the table, my body leaned against the chair with my hair dangling behind the seat. I opened it and read the same words in a letter I've been receiving for 5 years. I gently slid the letter back in it's envelope and place it on my desk.

I looked up at the ceiling, still in the same position. The ceiling looked like it was falling apart but in reality it's as sturdy as a cement.

I got up from my chair and started walking down the stairs. There, I saw my dad sitting on the foot side of the dining table while my other siblings sat on their usual seat.

"We were just about to call you," mum smiled "come, dinner is ready" she continued then walked to the table and placed down a bowl of Mac and cheese. My favorite. I felt my saliva oozing from my mouth and my tummy grumble. I hold onto it. Then headed my way to my seat, next to Ron and opposite of Ginny.

Mum went her way to her usual seat, the head of the table. We held hands with each other, said grace then ate.

It's the same thing everyday, same routine, I'd get out of bed and do my daily task, my siblings would do the same, mum would clean then, dad would get ready to work for the ministry. He works as head of misuse of muggle artefacts.

Later, after dinner. I got up and helped mum with the dishes while the others get ready for the start of school tomorrow. I wash the dishes while day dreaming of how would it be like if I had someone at school, a special someone at school that will make me look forward to the start of it every year. I could only wonder. Besides, how would I make a significant other when all I do was read?

~

September 1st of 1995. Our first day back at Hogwarts. Me and my family went our way to Diagon Alley to buy some stuff we need for school. I always wonders how mum and dad get through things when every year the school demands not-so-cheap stuff.

I remember them telling me the story of how I was adopted. How there's a small box beside me that contains my burnt birth certificate and a letter in it. Dad had told me that I'm not allowed to read the letter until the day came that they consider me ready for it. I think it's coming close but if you ask me, I'm not ready for it myself. Maybe it contains my real family, the reason they abandoned me, maybe it's something bad, maybe it's something good. But either way, I don't like putting much effort into thinking about it. When the day came that my father thinks I'm ready, then, I'll be ready.

He also said it came with a key that seemed to unlock a vault at gringots. Every year since 1st year I convinced them to try it out, who knows, maybe my real family is rich and would help my current one to get back on its feet. But my father said it's not to happen. He said I don't have my real name to present, reasonable enough. Nevertheless, they still provided me with the things I need, they never failed to do so.

Once we finished buying all the stuff necessary for school, we headed to kings cross and went our way to platform 9¾.

We went in the train. Ron went to sit with Hermione and Harry. Fred and George went their way to any vacant cabin and have students, mostly first years, try their puking pastilles and fever fudge. Ginny went her way to Luna and Neville, while I make my way to Dean and Seamus.

We sat in silence during the whole trip. I wasn't in the mood and the boys quicky picked up with that. But instead of leaving me and have their own fun, they stayed. Chatted quietly, making sure their voice doesn't disturb me from my thoughts.

Dean patted me gently on my shoulder and said "we're here, Vin" he smiled, Seamus smiled. I forced one back.

Dean and Seamus insisted to carry my stuff, even when I told then they needn't to because my head was the one that hurts, not my hand. They already took it from me before I could protest.

~

We entered Hogwarts. I sighed. I do miss it still, even when I don't look forwards coming back to it.

I saw a familiar group of friends from Hufflepuff and Gryffindor looking at me and whispering at each other. of course, They never miss a year. Ron appeared from behind me and ask if he could confront them. I said no, it's no use anyway. Besides, I like when people talk like that behind my back. It's like I have my own fanclub.

We head straight to the great hall and sat in with our respective houses. I sat beside Luna and Cho. We chatted for a while until professor Dumbledore stood up from his seat, clanking his glass to gather our attention. He introduced us with the new defense against the dark arts professor. Professor Dolores umbridge. She stood up, all in pink. My eye hurts.

She introduced herself and sat back down. Then, Professor Dumbledore clapped his hand twice then the abundance of variations of food appeared on the previously empty table. We had our feast.

I ate a few lemon bars and pumpkin pasties. I've no appetite, Ron, on the other hand, was holding chicken thighs on either his hands and started feasting like he's never eaten before. He's only like that at school. If he did that at home, being all messy and act like he's never eaten, mum would've slammed the daily prophet hard on his head. The thought made me chuckle a bit.

I continued my breakfast then I saw someone in my peripheral view. He's staring at me, his eyes has an obscure glow. I don't know if he looks at me with hatred of the other way around. He saw me looking at him and a grin slightly curved from his mouth. He drives me insane, really. Him- Draco Malfoy.