Dominant

Chapter Fifty-Seven

My breath was knocked out of me as my throat tightened, as if someone is choking me. It can't be!

Handing her back to my mother, I practically ran out of the house, through the back door, the back gates and to the forest.

I ran and ran, my breathing coming out in puffs but not because of exertion, it's because of emotion. My tears are flowing as I ran to the forest.

Stopping at my mother tree, I collapsed with my back against it; sobbing.

I've never felt this way. Grief, sorrow, fear, relief, hope...damn I can't understand anymore.

What does that mean? What is she to me? What is our connection? What am I to her when she grows up?

So many thoughts flashed my mind and I hate it so much! How can just one baby give me feelings like this? And why am I feeling it anyway? I guess I'm not immune as I thought, because if I really am, I wouldn't been of running away like that, I wouldn't of cared about that image, I wouldn't have stayed stuck with them, I would have run away, I wouldn't have let them ship me off to Zach. Maybe because there is still that hope inside me that lingers, even though I always deny it myself, it is still there.

For the first time in my life, I wasn't able to count time. I don't know how long I cried but I know for a fact that I skipped lunch. How do I know? My monster is grumbling because I didn't feed it.

It's already sunset and I am looking at it in the view. How can the world be so beautiful but never for me? Why can't it give me relief? I'm not asking for happiness, just relief from all this drama.

"You're a long way home" I turned behind me and saw Zach standing there with an unreadable expression.

I paid him no mind and continued to stare at the view.

"You know you worried everyone when you just left off like that" he states as he moves closer to me.

"They are never worried on my behalf. Even if they do, it's because it'll benefit them a whole lot amount of cash" I spat. I guess anger is winning now.

He lightly bristles but was able to calm himself. "Probably you're right"

"Then what are you doing here? Probably only to make things worse?" I said with venom coated voice.

He turned to me with a glare, probably insulted of being blamed on this. "No, I was just gonna show you what you're missing" he said.

I frowned "What makes you think I'll trust you?" I asked him.

He sighed sadly "I know you don't and you probably hate me, I understand. I'm a jerk and that's not confidential. I'm sorry for that. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, it'll be your choice. Just trust me this once, if you still won't in the end then it's OK. I don't expect anything from you" he said as if what he's saying is true but behind those eyes are his pleading ones, like he want me to do something to ease it. But what?

I didn't answer him.

I feel him tug at my arm "Come" he said and I don't know why my feet obeyed. Traitorous feet!

He took me on the far side of the town where modern houses lined the streets. I remember dad making constructions when I was still a kid and he had donated it to homeless families. I used to think of him as a hero but not now.

He drove to the end side and pulled over into a place I never expect he would take me...

Andris' Orphan Home