𝙲𝙰𝙺𝙴 (𝙰 𝙵𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙱𝚡𝙱 𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕) 🍰

③ 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙻𝚄𝙴 𝙲𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙿𝙸𝙽𝙺 𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙸𝙿𝙴𝚂

~~~

Skyler

Skyler Hazel Clawfield.

That's my full name.

I don't know why my parents named me that but I guess they thought it was unique... or something.

Mom and Dad have always been very supportive of me, always wanting me to get out there, be myself, impact the world, etc. They've always loved me, and of course, I loved them back. They loved me so much that they had no doubt about how people would see me as I grew up. They thought a bright, pastel blue cat with pink stripes would definitely boost my popularity.

It sure did, alright.

I entered pre-school with a high metabolism and a positive outlook on life.

Elementary school passed, and the few animals that actually wanted to be my friend moved away or switched schools. I can't even remember their names anymore.

In middle school, I became a loner. No one wanted to talk to me, interact with me, anything whatsoever.

High school was a nightmare.

Apparently, if a living animal looks and acts opposite to their gender, you have every right to bully them. They checked off every box: dunked me in the toilet, beat me up for 'acting gay', stole my stuff and tossed it around as if they were playing hot potato, verbally insulted me and called me a faggot; All the classics. I don't blame them, I'm way too immature for my age. They had every right to knock some sense into me.

I'm not good enough.

As the years passed, the more depressive I became. My parents always wanted to know if I'd have been making friends and enjoying school; and as much as I wanted to say yes, I couldn't lie to them.

They've always been supportive, but that support was starting to feel like a lifeline.

What was once an energetic, sugar-fueled kitten is now a shy, worrisome cat.

All the harassment made me question my own sexuality. Yeah, sure, I owned many traits that resembled those of a female, (looked like a girl, spoke like a girl, dressed like a girl, etc.) but it felt normal to me. Hell, my parents could've told me I was born a she, and I would've believed it. I'm a blue and pink cat with a girly name. I know it can also be a boy's name, but still, it haunted me.

Am I gay? Bi? Trans? Who knows. I've never shown interest in someone before. Sure, I liked some boys, but I never imagined the scenarios to play out. The feelings were never real. I was better off in my own head. No one's shown interest in me either. If I gain real feelings for someone, then I'll know where to start. But for now, I'm just a confused ball of bundled-up emotional stress.

But that confusion didn't exactly help me win fights, you know?

Now, everywhere I go, I'm always anticipating some sort of persecution.

That's why my expectations are always so low.

That's why I'm always so blue, inside and out.

My parents made me go to a therapist, but I hated opening up to people. The only animals I can really trust are my family. I have no friends. No friends at all.

I get it, life sucks. But I have to get through it somehow.

That's when art comes in.

I've always had a love for drawing ever since I was a little kitten. I partook in that one activity ten times a day. Each day, I challenged myself to draw something different. It helped me get my mind off of the things that disturbed me. My mom used this hobby as a way for me to communicate. Cope. She called it 'art therapy'. She made me paint-out my troubles, any way I wanted to. Turns out my inner-anger is quite the artist. Henceforth, my mother and father scraped together just enough money to buy me a new drawing tablet for my thirteenth birthday. Words can not explain how thrilled I was when I tore open the wrapping paper. I mean, it was new technology, of course I was excited. My family was low on money, so they told me that this was the only special thing they could ever get me. Therefore, I loved it like a son. I used it every day, trying out the new digital pens and special effect filters for each new drawing I created. I still use it today. No bumps or scratches whatsoever. I adore that thing. As I learned more about art, the more I focused on it actually being a career I could pursue. I got a job just to buy myself new pencils and pens, sketchbooks, and paints. I was committed to my creativity. Art helped me see the joy in life.

So, of course, Mom pushed a little farther. She made me apply for the Cloverland Institute of Visual Arts when I graduated high school. I was hesitant at first, but then I saw all the courses, all the things I could learn to enhance my drawing skills.

I was ecstatic... until I found out that I had to live in an apartment with five other guys.

Yeah, talk about gay panic.

I was scared out of my mind of what they would think of me. Every boy I've ever met throughout my entire life either disapproved of me or abused me. Living in a house, with a roommate even, filled with other men might be my worst-est nightmare. Worse than high school.

I was terrified, but Mom and Dad were just so... happy... to see me happy... whenever I painted...

I didn't want to let them down. So, I went. They paid for my scholarship anyway, it was the least I could do. I loved them, and this was the only way for me to prove it.

Once I moved in, of course, the others gave me weird looks. Especially Byron the tiger. He seemed utterly disgusted, but, like, why? I didn't do anything.

I decided that I'd just ignore them. If anyone tries to hurt me, I'll just run away. If anyone tries to insult me, I'll look the other way. If anyone tries to talk to me, I'll just put on my headphones. I won't listen to them. I won't.

I don't care what they think about me. This is about my career, not my social life. I want to pursue art, so that's what I'm gonna do.

That was until I met Charlie.

Our first encounter was weird, but so far, he's the only guy in the building who hasn't looked down on me in an inferior way. Believe it or not, he's actually as awkward as I am.

He was sweet. He shook my hand, complimented my work, took a photo of it...

He's nice.

He's pretty calm.

He's kinda handsome, too.

Oh, shit.

Ohhhhhh, shit.