Teen Wolf Texts (Sterek And Scisaac Fluff)

Lydia To Peter

"Aye, Peter!"

"Lydia, it's wonderul to hear your voice! How are you?"

"Are you high?"

"Nope, just pleased,"

"Do I wanna know?"

"Probably not, but if you must, I was watching Janie sleep,"

"Still the same old creepy Peter, that's comforting. I need you at Kira's,"

"Stiles passed out, i'm aware. Derek's been kidnapped, can I have five more minutes?"

"NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE FIVE MINUTES! THE ONLY PERSON I CAN TALK TO RIGHT NOW IS PASSED OUT AND YOU'RE GONNA FIX IT, YOU CREEPY ASS FUCK! GET OVER THERE NOW!"

"Who shit in your Cheerios?"

"I don't know how everyone keeps forgetting this, but my best friend just killed herself in rehab, where she wouldn't have been if weren't for me, so if you could kindly fuck off and just wake up Stiles and fix this, it would be much appreciated,"

"I was sorry to hear about her death. She was a nice girl, albeit a difficult one. And i'm on my way, sheesh,"

"Is your v-neck an appropriate height?"

"Eh... No,"

"You're such a whore, Peter Hale,"

"Thank you, Lydia..."

"YOU DON'T KNOW MY LAST NAME?! WHAT THE TRICKLE GRACKLE PETER!"

"It was never important! I wanna say... May? Lydia May? Jones?"

"MARTIN!"

"Are you still at the hospital?"

"Yes,"

"And you have the audacity to yell at me!"

"I'm trying to move Scott and Isaac! Lazy assholes decided to get tangled in IVs, I should just leave them here and let them choke in their sleep,"

"You really want more death in one week?"

"Fuck you,"

"I'm just being honest,"

"You're being a- Wait. Waitamotherfuckingminute. Are you listening. To Paramore. Seriously,"

"Is that not okay with queen Lydia?"

"I'm not queen, and I didn't take you for the passive agressive pop punk teenager type,"

"It happens to be quality music, your royal bitchiness,"

"I'm this close to shoving a nice big piece of mountain ash up your ass,"

"I probably wouldn't mind. I've had some pretty big things in my ass,"

"Ew! Ew ew ew ew ew EW! I did NOT need to hear that! And you have a mate! A female mate!"

"Before I met her... Things happened..."

"Don't wanna know. Nope. Hanging up now."

"I was in a-"

"GOODBYE, PETER!"