His, Eternally [18+]

Chapter Thirty: Down The Drain

Indie's Point of View:

I had finally reached home, where I let it all out. I ran to my room, screaming in my pillow due to my frustration. I got up, stripping off all of my clothes before turning the notch of my shower to the right. I put it on full heat, feeling the almost painful water spray against my skin. I began to scrub my body of all the debris and grime, watching the water turn slightly brown from the dirt. I grimaced in disgust. If only the dirt I was scrubbing from my skin were my feelings for Thaddeus. I scrubbed harder with the sponge, until my skin almost felt raw underneath the steaming water. I slouched down, sitting on the floor of my shower while holding my knees to my chest. I let the water cascade down me like a waterfall, washing away all of the mixed emotions I had been feeling. I wanted to cry, but I also wanted to scream. I had no feelings left to emit, all of this was too much. I had practically just been traumatized from Thaddeus' violence. I grew up in such a sheltered environment, it almost felt as if I were in shock.

I pushed the images of the bloody body parts out of my mind, stepping out of the shower. The cold air hit my skin, raising goosebumps across my tummy, legs, and arms. I wiped the mirror clear from the steam that had clouded it, looking at my face. I looked absolutely horrible — like I hadn't slept in days. I quickly combed my hair, french braiding it down my back in order to get it out of my face. I avoided looking at myself naked, due to the fact that I felt so undeniably insecure. I was so used to the scrutiny of others thoughts towards me, it had completely destroyed my self-esteem and dignity.

I quickly pulled on an oversized hoodie and some boy-short undies, sighing as I crawled into my bed. I immediately relaxed, my intense feelings seeming to vanish as I took in the familiarity of my room. The sunlight glimmered through my windows, hitting my skin as I took it in.

I rummaged through the miscellaneous items that cluttered my bedside table, looking for my remote. I turned on the television, half-watching whatever movie was on. My mother's quilt was wrapped tightly around me, enveloping me in warmth. As much as I tried to distract myself from what had happened, I couldn't. My mind kept going back to Thaddeus — what he had done, how he had raised his voice at me. It was all power play to him — he wanted to feel above others, but I was not a force to be reckoned with. As I had begun to fall asleep, a knock broke me out of my trance. I groaned, crossing my arms over my chest as I approached my door.

I swung my door open, silently praying to myself that it wouldn't be Thaddeus. Instead, I came face-to-face with someone I knew I had seen before. She was tall, with olive-toned skin — just like Thaddeus. Her hair was dark, and cut short. She wore a leather jacket, and skinny jeans; dressing similarly to Thaddeus. She bit her lip nervously as I looked at her with questioning eyes. I knew I had seen her before, but I couldn't think of where. I was already so disoriented, it was impossible for me to think straight.

"Mila." She said, breaking the silence as she stuck her hand out. I looked down at it awkwardly, not knowing what to do. She laughed, nodding her head slightly. "You must be confused, I understand. Some random chick showing up at your house, I get it." She chuckled nervously. Her ocean blue eyes darted over my face, as if she was studying me.

"And who are you?" I was trying not to sound rude, but I did. I raised an eyebrow at her, awaiting a response as she uncomfortably shifted her stance.

"Okay, if I tell you, please don't slam the door in my face," She sighed out. "I'm Thaddeus' sister." It suddenly clicked in my mind. I had seen her at the diner, where I had first seen Thaddeus as well. I remember her vaguely, but her charisma was oddly comforting. She was coming to me because Thaddeus didn't have the courage to apologize to me. After all, he had probably never been talked to the way I talked to him. But, I didn't regret snapping at him. I had to assert my dominance somehow, and being a direct bitch was the only way I could reach him.

I nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"Look, so uh... Thaddeus, man. He's really bad at apologizing." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Not at her, but at him. I knew that he didn't want to apologize, he was most likely angry at me for the way I had just spoken to him. "He's really not a bad guy, you see. He's just kind of a jackass, sometimes."

"Sometimes?" I retorted.

"Okay, you're right." She agreed, our eye contact not breaking. "He's a jackass, like, all of the time. But, Indie, I do know one thing. You are Thaddeus are star-crossed lovers. I know you don't want to hear that right now, but he doesn't understand how he was wrong. He has never been told when he's been wrong. And I agree, it's messed up. I would be mad too." I looked down at my feet, feeling comforted by her words. At least I was getting some sort of validation.

"Well, thank you, I just- it's just- it's so confusing. Everything is happening, all at once. I practically just learned that there's an entire different species of humans that have walking among us for millennia upon millennia, and I also learn that I'm someone's soul-mate. That's so much responsibility, you know? None of this even feels real. I knew there was something more to life, but I didn't picture it as this." I vented my emotions as she looked at me with sorrowful eyes.

"I can't be what he needs, Mila, I can't. I can barely even handle my own emotions, how am I supposed to be someone else's entire universe? It's so overwhelming, it feels like I'm going to explode at any second."

"Indie, listen to me." She grabbed me by my shoulders gently. "What you are, right now, is everything Thaddeus needs. You are strong, hard-headed, and compassionate. I know this is so much for you, and I find it hard to understand as well. You don't deserve this type of stress put on you. But, the goddesses chose him for you. You will balance him out, just like the natural homeostasis that occurs in nature. Before you were even born, he was your other half. And I know that sounds scary, but it's true. He is so infatuated with you, Indie. He doesn't know how to love, he doesn't understand it. All of his love comes from a place of anger, and the need to protect. You are always enough for him — despite him being inept at showing it. Please, just give him a chance. I've seen softer parts of him, not often, but I have. I know he's capable of being good to you." She chewed at her lip, pulling on the hoop that rest upon it.

"This type of love, Indie, this is different. You are his moon, his stars, his sun — his universe."

Before I had the chance to reply, she wrapped her arms around me, engulfing me in a hug. I sighed into her arms, feeling like a small weight was lifted off of my chest. Although the stress and pressure was prevalent, the way she spoke to me made me feel validated and self-assured.

"I just need time right now, I think. I need to be able to take everything in." She nodded understandingly, before hugging me once again.

     
        After she had left, her words continuously played in my mind.

He was infatuated with me.