Under the Blood Moon~ The Guild Leader Chronicles Book Two (COMPLETE)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Under the Blood Moon

Thirty-Nine

My tears show no sign of letting up as the freezing air whips around the small area. While Cauis holds me tightly against him, I feel my knees give out. Cauis holds me up, but I drag my arms from around his neck. I blubber, and push on his chest. His hold loosens a little, allowing me to drop smoothly back onto the ground. Cauis comes down on one knee in front of me, and tangles his fingers into my hair.

All day he has been at my side, trying to comfort me. To be honest, he has been, but I just can't take it anymore. I smack at his forearm as I sob again. "Get away from me!" I manage to choke out.

Cauis instantly scoots back, staying on his knee. "Esmerelda," he breathes.

"Just shut up!" I scream, unable to show any form of composure. "Leave me!" I order, but he doesn't move. I cry out, feeling empty. "I said leave me!" I scream again, putting all my weight into the command.

Cauis stands abruptly, and takes a step away. "Esmerelda, please, don't." He breathes, his feet making him back up.

I put my head in my hands, crying harder. The sweet tenor of his voice cuts deeply into my heart. "Go," I breath. "All of you."

I need time for myself, just for a little while. I can't be around any of them. I can barely breath as it is, and I know that with everyone here, staring at me, trying to console me, I will lose my mind. I made this decision, to protect my children. One day, I will adjust and be okay with it. But for now, I need to process what has happened alone.

Slowly, I hear the groups footsteps grow quieter, eventually fading all together. When I know I am utterly alone, I scream with everything I have left inside of me. I wrap my arms around myself, and curl my body back into a ball, continuing to scream. When I have no air left in my lungs, I take a large breath, making my head spin. I take another huge breath, filling my lungs again, and scream. My voice cracks, causing vaulted memories to return.

I had become so strong, not just magically, and here I am again. Broken, defeated, and ready to die. Until now, I never knew how much I was able to feel my powers. They had been like the air in my lungs, the wind against my face, and the feeling of Cauis' heartbeat. They were so integrated into me that now, I have to actively remind myself just to breath. I force air into my lungs again, making my lungs blaze as if they were on fire.

Not only did I do this to protect Valerio and Aemilia, but for Kalli. I had kept my promise to her. I sought out the men who killed her. I did the best I could at least.

A gut wrenching cry come out of my mouth, and I collapse onto my right side. I roll onto my back, and unwrap my arms from around me. I run my hands up my face hard as my body shakes. I sob, tugging at the hair on the top of my head. I stomp one of my feet on the ground, wishing and praying to anyone that a hole would open up underneath me and swallow me whole. I slide my hands back down over my face, and place both of them around my throat, not squeezing. I feel the sides of my hair moisten from my relentless, over powering, tears.

I roll back onto my right side, and curl myself back into a ball. I scream again, continuing the battle to gasp for air.