no idea ❀ mattia polibio

trentadue

𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄

— madison

i was scrummaging through all of the unopened boxes that were sitting inside my dads closet. i need to find out things about my mom.

i was sitting on the floor when my dad came into the room. "what are you doing?" he asked.

"looking for baby pictures, we haven't updated the photo album in years." i told him and he nodded slowly.

"well, we're going to spend thanksgiving here but we're visiting miami for three days after thanksgiving." he told me and my eyes lit up in excitement.

"are you serious?" i asked him and he nodded.

"you can invite mattia if you want, but i'm not sure if his parents would let him." he asked and i shrugged.

"i'll ask him later." i tell him and he nods before leaving the room.

i focus back on finding anything about my mom until i come across a letter. my hands shake as i read my mom's name on it.

'from: vanessa cecaro'

i hesitate to open it. i don't want to cry, but i should probably see what it says. i remove letter from the envelope and unfold the paper.

'to my beautiful daughter,

i've been hesitant about writing you this letter, not really knowing what to tell you. after so many years, no explanation is an excuse for what i did. i suppose by the time you read this you'll be old enough to understand the emotional reasoning as to why i left you and your father when you were only 5. i want to be able to sit down and talk to you about all of this. if you ever feel like you're ready, my address is 1234 Miami Drive, Miami FL. i want to get to know my beautiful daughter and explain to you why i did what i did.

love, your mama'

tears ran down my cheeks as i read every single syllable in my head. i've been lied to my whole life. my mom isn't dead and she's still out there.

the thought of me being lied to only infuriates me and gives me the strength to run downstairs. "you lied to me." i told my dad who turned around, frightened at my sudden outburst.

"what do you mean?" he asked me and i raises my hand to show him the letter.

his face turned pale and he froze in his spot. "why were you going through those things?" he asked me and i scoffed.

"why did you lie to me?" i yelled. "i could've gotten to know my mother but you decided to brainwash me into thinking she was dead!" i told him. "i've had to tell all of my friends that i don't have a mother."

"you don't." he responds back. "a mother wouldn't leave her child and her husband like that." he says before sighing deeply. "sit down." he told me as he patted the seat next to him.

*TRIGGER WARNING*
this scene talks about alcohol addiction. discretion is advised.

"your mother left us because she loved alcohol more than her own family." he told me. "i would always be the one working so i could only take care of you on the weekends and whenever i wasn't there she was drinking her life away." he told me.

all i could do was stay silent.

"me telling her to stop had turned into a daily routine and one time you fell into the pool and you almost drowned because she was too drunk to save your life. i yelled at her and got mad and told her she needs help and that she needs to go to rehab and she got offended so she packed her bags and left before saying she doesn't need us." he says looking down before looking at me. "i figured it was easier telling you she passed away rather than telling you she preferred alcohol over her family."

i was sobbing by the time he finished the story and he embraced me into a hug. "i know i shouldn't have lied to you, but i was doing it for you own good." he told me and i held him tight.

"i'm sorry." i talked into his shoulder and he rubbed my back.

"it's okay."

we hugged in silence until i broke the hug. "i want to see her when we go to miami." i told him and he looks taken aback.

"what why?" he asked me.

"i want to hear her side." i tell him and he gives me a defeated sigh.

"i don't suggest it, but after all she is your mother." he told me.

"did you love her?" i asked him.

"of course i loved her, but i had to move forward and be strong for you." he tells me and i smile.

"i love you."

"i love you too."

—
author's notes
sorry for this taking a turn. it's very crucial for the story plot. thank you all so much for 10k reads that's lit rally crazy. i love you all so much! ❤️