Naruto's Guardian(Old Version)

Author's Note And Thanks

I'm writing this because I have a lot on my mind and I feel like I need someone to know.

I have amnesia, I don't remember about 12 years of my life (I'm almost 19). This happened because of something in my past that I don't remember. It happened to protect me from the bad things that I may have experienced. I've been suffering from depression and anxiety for about 5-7 years now. I have fear of adults and people my age. About 1-3 times a week I suffer from an  anxiety attack that makes me unable to breathe and sleep. I cry for hours, not being able to stop. My chest feels heavy and hurts. I don't know what to do and everything I normally love and believe in, I suddenly can't see.

A few months ago I have decided to take a step to get out of this cycle and I told my mom about it. It took a lot of courage and when I told her, I was shaking and crying. But when she told me that she will try to help me and will support me, I knew it was worth it and that something was changing.

The next step I took was reaching out to a psychologist and telling her everything. We were supposed to start a treatment, however due to the current situation we had to postpone it.

Fortunately I didn't have to go to school and could focus on things I like, which helped me forget a bit. But what helped me the most was my best friend, now boyfriend, who called with me for hours during the night. All I would do was cry and occasionally say something, yet he stayed and listened, even if he was tired. He's going through similar things so he knows what to say and when. Because of that though, he would be feeling bad sometimes as well and when he did, I would be there for him instead.

Things are becoming better and today I have been freed. I feel light and the air isn't suffocating. I am not blind to the good people and things I have around me anymore and I will try to keep this mindset. I am now able to see even the smallest positive things in the big bad things. I want to change, I want to be better version of myself for myself. I am no longer being bound down by what happened. I reflect on it and I will use it to make a happy life for myself.

I now want to help those who are in need of help. Those who are lost and don't know what to do, or where to begin. If anyone here needs someone to talk to, I'm here to help. I have Discord, Facebook and Instagram, Gmail and Steam. If someone wants to talk, we can talk through one of these. I don't want anyone to feel alone, like I did, for such a long time.

Know that asking for help is not a weakness, it's a bravery. It's the bravery to face your fears and make a change. It's carrying something heavy together with someone. When helping each other out in times of need, beautiful bonds are made.

Wattpad, this story and you, who take the time to read this book helped me a lot with my recovery and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you so much.