New Desires

Chapter 7

It's been only two days. We've barely communicated and Zara has been moping around-as have I. We went out the clubs last night and all got wasted. I met a girl there who goes by Lexi. She's shorter than Zara by a bit and she's blonde. She flirted with me all night, danced with me- she kissed me but.. it didn't really feel like anything. Not the way it is when I kiss Zara, at least. I looked up and there she was with disappointment in her eyes. Zara had just watched me kiss another girl. We locked eyes for a moment, showing how hurt she was and me showing the guilt even if i wasn't the one who kissed first.

Now this morning, i was gonna make sure i talked to Zara today. I know what i want. I want her and i want more than what we are now. I just hope me talking to her will actually get us somewhere and she's not mad at me. I let my worries slip my mind when i walked into her room to see Jasmine sitting on her bed- no signs of Zara.

"Oh sorry, where's Zara?" I pause in front of the door.

"She's out smoking." She replies to me and just as i go to close the door, she continues. "You know she really likes you. She wont admit it- especially not after last night, but she does."

I turn back around and take in the words before i respond. "I wanna make it right. I wanna talk to her about this."

"You better talk soon because when she decides she's done with someone, its over." She lets me know.

I nod to her and thank her before shutting the door behind me. I walked to the back to see she was sitting there alone, everyone else probably passed out hungover from last night. I'm tired of the awkwardness,i just want everything to be straightened out already. I opened the back door and she turned around to see me, not too happy apparently.

"Can we talk?" I ask.

"About what?" She puts out the joint and turns to me as i sit down beside her.

"Last night and everything between us."

"There's nothing that needs to be said. What happened speaks for itself." She shrugs her shoulders.

I groan, "dont pretend like you dont care and that it didn't hurt you. I know it did and i didn't mean for it to. She kissed me."

"Well you didn't exactly stop her. You have me sitting here wondering if we're fine and then you go and pull something like that?"

I stop to fix my rings and look at her, "Look, when she kissed me- i didn't like it. I- I mean it was good, but, it wasn't you. It did bother me when you told me girls were flirting with you- probably a lot more than I'd like to admit."

"And you couldn't just say that to me? I was being honest with you. I didn't know what we were doing and so i just assumed because you already told me you just wanted it to be sexual." She sits back and explains to me. "You dont need to be mad at me for telling you the truth. Now that i know I'm not gonna flirt with anyone else unless we talk about it."

"And Same goes for me.." I reassure her.

"Fine then we're in agreement?" She checks with me.

"Yep." I nod to her, but, that wasn't all. "Actually.. I wanted to talk about something else as well..."

"What?" She grew curious as i spoke.

"I want to kind of talk about a dom/ sub thing with you." I spit out, almost amazed that those words came out of my own mouth.

Zara's eyes grew wide, "you want me to be your dom?"

"Well ive always wanted to get into it and i didn't know anyone i trusted enough to talk about it with- other than you now, and i guess.. Well yeah, i want it to be with you."