New Desires

Chapter 30 part 1

      When they said sub drop, I didn't know how hard it would hit me. For days all I did was beg for Zara and her attention. I had become needy and overly touchy and super insecure to the point where I would cry if she left. I was a complete mess for awhile. Zara however made me feel like I was the most important thing to her. When she left for sessions or work she always left me something to eat or do while she was gone. She made sure I was safe and called me before she went in and after- every single time. There was one night when it was really bad. It was the night after the session- Zara and Jas were there.

Jas came over almost every day anyways, but, I was glad they were both there. Anyways, Zara hadn't been home all day because she had sessions and then had a shoot booked right after. We talked on the phone, but, that's it. I had just gotten off the phone with Imogen, but, I couldn't really express to her why I felt the way I felt without explaining... well how i got there. She was not ready to hear about my sessions. The sex? Sure. The fact that we had a threesome? Sure. But, to hear that I was forced to orgasm so much my body gave out? Yeah, she was not ready. Anywho, I let Jasmine in when she got here and since Zara wasn't home, she took it upon herself to cuddle with me. She could tell how shaken I was and how much I was actually being affected by this so she grabbed a blanket and we cuddled on the couch until Zara got home. And when she did, I got up and hugged her immediately. I started crying right then and there. It felt like she was gonna leave me. And it felt like I didn't do a good job and i was even ashamed. I felt like I was sinking into a void of my own thoughts and couldn't escape it all day. I didn't say anything, I thought maybe it was just passing by and I would be over it asap, but, it was all day long.

"Baby, What's wrong?" She said as she released my grip on her and looked at me as I wiped tears from my eyes.

"I don't know. You were gone all day. I just.." I started to break down at my thoughts.

She led me back to the couch with Jasmine and we sat down. She used the sleeve of her sweatshirt to wipe my tears away as I had gotten so out of hand with crying I could hardly speak.

"Princess, breathe." She reminds me, rubbing my back. "I'm here now. You're okay. We're okay."

"Please don't leave me." I begged. I don't even know where that came from, but, I know I felt it.

"I'm not leaving you, princess."

I couldn't stop crying for awhile. Jas wrapped a blanket around me and Zara turned me so that I was laying on her as she sat up. They looked at each other with concern. I know Jasmine wanted to speak, but, I could see it on her face- she didn't think it was her place to.

"Princess." Zara says, rubbing up and down my arm, calming me down a bit more. "I promise you, I have never ever thought about leaving you. You are the perfect girlfriend, sub, best friend- you're everything to me. I was so proud of you last night- you know that?"

I couldn't verbally respond. My breathing had gone down the moment I laid on her. i started to calm down enough to be in the present rather than in my head.

"Do you remember when we told you about sub drop last night?" She asked, I just nodded my head and grabbed the blanket tightly. "This can be it. It can feel like shit, I know. I go through drop too as a domme."

"You do?" I questioned, I didn't even know this was a thing.

"Yeah. Even Jas goes through it. Mine's not quite this intense, but, I thought about you all day. You're all I ever think about."

"Can we do something? Anything?"

We finished the night out watching movies. An hour in after my breathing had gotten steady, Zara had gotten up to get changed so Jas took the opportunity to kiss my forehead. She got up and grabbed me some tea and snuck me a pack of my favorite cookies without telling Zara, of course she saw anyways.