New Desires

Chapter 35

It's now New Years Eve and we still have not had a single sign of my father. My mom hasn't called or said anything about the process of the divorce and Damien moved back home with her so she wouldn't be alone. Even he doesn't know anything. She leaves the house every day and doesn't get home til late. He waits for her, hoping she'll finally say something but she keeps dodging his questions. I'm hoping that tonight can be an escape from all the madness. Christmas was probably one of the worst holidays we've ever had as a family, but, Imogen and Zara made up for it. When I woke up the next day they set up a tiny little Christmas tree on the table infront of the tv, put on a video of a fire in the fireplace, and set the presents around it. It was super cute. We all stayed in and talked- no distractions, no disasters, or divorces... just us.

We're in the car driving to my mom's place where I'm sure a bunch of guests have already arrived. It's 9:26 pm and we were supposed to be there at 8:30 but Zara and I got.. distracted to say the least. By the time we finished getting ready it was 9 pm. We practically sprinted out of the house. Zara sprayed on her signature perfume right before we left so the entire time we've been in the car so far I've been trying my hardest not to rip her clothes off, although.. I'm not doing the best job. I can't help but touch her right now. After earlier.. and with that fucking perfume..

    "Princess." She whispers under the music into my ear, "we just had sex.. are you really that needy again?"

     "I can't help it." I admit, kissing her cheek, " you know what that perfume does to me."

      She shakes her head with a grin on her face. "We're almost at your mother's."

    Fuck, my mom. Am i selfish if all i wanna focus on tonight is Zara? I mean i get it, and if my mother needs me there for her, I'll be there.. but, it's Our first New Years together.. our first midnight kiss. I've kind of put our whole dynamic on the back burner ever since we got here in focus of my parent's and my father's approval. Obviously that was my mistake. She's been so patient with me- as she always is.

     Looking at her right now i can't believe i got so lucky. I'm lucky to have my hands running through her hair. I'm lucky to have her hand on my leg, To feel what loving her and being loved by her feels like. God, I'm the corniest bitch alive, but that's how it is when you meet someone and fall in love with. I mean someone true and honest and kind. She's the most non judgmental person I've ever met. She sees me and everything i go through, and she understands.

"Why are you staring at me? Is there something wrong with my makeup?" She asked.

"No.." i laugh. "I'm just looking at you, you're very pretty."

"I'll tell you what." She cups my cheeks and leans in a bit. "If you're not still tired after tonight when we can come back to the house, I'll make you cum until you rip me off of you. Is that okay with you?"

I simply nod my head and leave her with a kiss as Imogen parks the car and we all began to climb out. I grabbed Zara's hand and intertwined our fingers together. She looked down at our hands and scrunched her eyebrows together, then at me with a bit of shock on her face. I know she knows how i felt before, but, the secret's out. I'm not ashamed of loving her, I never was. I was ashamed of not being perfect in the eyes of my father. But something I had ignored for a really long time, was how imperfect he was. How much i actually feared him rather than respected him. What can he do now? My mom's courage to leave him has shown me enough. I smile and kiss her one last time before going in to show her that I'm serious and I'm ready. She smiled into the kiss and we walked behind Jasmine and Imogen into the house.

The crowd of people was bigger than before. I didn't expect so many people here. Even people I had gone to private school with were here with their families. People I hadn't seen for years even before moving away. Zara squeezed tighter on my hand as I looked around frantically at the amount of people crowding the interior of the home i grew up in. Assuring me that she was there with me, even if it that's all she could be for me right now. We walked in deeper, both being greeted by some unfamiliar faces. Imogen and Jasmine already made it through and into the kitchen where my mom was still cooking up some extra dishes as the appetizers seemed to be quickly disappearing by the minute. As i stood in front of her I watched for a second before i greeted her.