A Song of Silence

Chapter 59: Feelings in the Dark

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Don't you have an announcement to make today? I ask Azazel as we lay in his expansive bed. Azazel had gotten a rag and cleaned us up an hour before, so we lay in each other's arms in the cool sheets. I usually wasn't a cuddled after sex. Most of the time I left as quick as I had arrived. It seemed I was breaking all my rules for Azazel. Or more likely he was breaking down all my carefully constructed walls that I had created over the years.

"An announcement," he repeats, confusion in his voice.

You know, about the prisoners? We had been in here for hours. Long enough that no doubt the court had discovered the missing prisoners and no doubt expected Azazel to make a statement about it.

"I'd rather just lay here all day with you," he says as he wraps his arms around me tightly.

His arms prevent me from signing. He wants me to speak. Damn him. "No doubt, but a female needs some rest. And your court will not be happy if you wait much longer to make the announcement."

Azazel huffs and he acknowledges the truth of my words. His cobra grip around my arms relents as he gets up and walks to the washroom. Damn that's a nice ass. It looks mighty biteable. When had I ever thought of a males ass being biteable? Azazel turns around and sees my stare. I look away quickly, but not before I see his smirk. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you wanted to join me in the bath."

I roll my eyes at him, "I'd we want to get out of here before dark, you'll need to learn some patience, Azazel." He only smirks and retreats further into the bathroom. I hear the telltale splash of water running as he turns the nozzles on the tub. This is my chance. Quickly putting on my clothes, I write a quick note to Azazel. I can't be seen leaving his room. Furthermore, I know that we'll just end up fucking again when he returns from the bath. It's inevitable. We're too attracted to each other and the dangers that would occur should word of our sex life get out. Lastly, I needed a ducking break. The soreness between my legs was pleasant and made sure I remembered, but my poor lady parts couldn't take much more of it. For a few hours, at least, I needed a break. An abrupt exit and the announcement Azazel had to make was the perfect way to get that.

Putting my hair in a messy bun and holding my heels in one hand, I slowly made my way down the greenery outside Azazel's window. I knew there would be no courtiers or guards to view my descent because his rooms were on the far north side of the castle. Azazel forbid anyone, guard or noble, to trespass in these gardens. My feet finally reached the paved stones that lines the gardens. I sensed someone's gaze upon me. Looking up, I saw Azazel's scowling form leaning out the window. Giving him a one-armed salute, I turn and make my way towards my rooms on the opposite side of the castle. I stick to the shadows and stayed hidden in the garden. Few noble ladies ever walked in the gardens, but I stayed unseen just the same. I wasn't ashamed of Azazel or our time together, it would just be a hassle if romped about us started during the competition. I wasn't a contestant, therefore I could make many enemies and screw up the entire competition if our involvement was discovered.

I finally managed to sneak into my room. Running for the bathroom, I ran myself a quick bath. I needed to get Azazel's scent off me asap. He would be furious. A small smile curled the corners of my mouth of what would follow when he discovered I had washed off his scent. If anyone with a keen sense of smell came in right now, they would easily be able to sense what Azazel and I had been up to. They probably would anyway by the state of my hair, but it didn't hurt to be safe. Quickly drying off, I put on a spare dress in the closet. Admiring myself in the mirror, I scowl at the mussed state of my hair. It's unfixable at this point, even with a brush. My lips also look slightly bruised from all the kissing we did. The high neck of the dress covers up the marks Azazel left on my skin. Nips, bites, and bruises pepper my abdomen and chest. It seemed I had failed to notice the marks he was creating when he was kissing his way down my body. They were a possessive sort of marks. Like he wanted to make sure I didn't forget him. The soreness between my legs and the tender marks across me would make sure of that.

Sighing, I braid my hair tightly, hoping to cover the static that resulted from mine and Azazel's passionate sex. A few touches of lip gloss and concealer and the bruising around my mouth was nowhere to be seen. I didn't look like the sex-crazed female that had scaled down his window. I didn't look like I'd had sex at all. Azazel would be furious. Putting on my comfortable flats, I make my way to look for Karasi. No doubt she had been wondering where Azazel and I had been all this time.

She was in the library this time. I greeted her warmly as I sat next to her and opened the book I had taken from a shelf. I felt her gaze scanning me, but didn't look at her. She kept her gaze on me for such a long while, I finally deigned to look back at her. She had a sly, smug smile on her face. "Adonis owes me fifty gold now."

I give her a glare, How long have you all known?

She merely gives me a sly shrug before saying, "We all had our suspicions you would end up in bed together eventually. The chemistry between the two of you was too intense for it not to happen. Adonis said it would be after the third competition had occurred and a contestant had been declared. I disagreed."

Shaking my head at her, I ask, Was it really that obvious?

Karasi gives me a conspiratorial smile, "Aerilynn, you've looked like you've wanted to jump his bones since you returned. I knew you would sleep together sooner rather than later." Huffing, I shake my head and return to my book, trying to ignore her smile. "Was it good?"

My head snaps up at her question, What? Karasi repeats her question. My face heats at the memory of our time together, shaking my head I look back at the book in my hands and sign, I am not discussing this with you.

Abandoning her book altogether, Karasi smirks and says, "That good, huh?" Better than good actually. Great in fact. But I wasn't going to tell her that. "How do you feel about it?" The question takes me unawares. How do I feel about Azazel? About the mind blowing sex we had. Whether I'll allow us to do it again? I've never really been asked that question by anyone about a guy. I've never really had a friend to talk to about boys or my sex life in the past. How my life had changed.

Discarding the book in my hands, I sign, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it.

Karasi shakes her head, worry creasing her brow, "It's not how you are supposed to feel, it's how you feel this very moment. Damn anyone who would tell you any different."

I regard my callused hands, how do I feel? I'd never really had an answer to such a question, I don't know. I guess...I like my time here with Azazel and the inner court. I like how he reads me like an open book even when I try to hide how I feel. I like how he sees me as something other than just another female. I like how he doesn't give a fuck about my past or those I have killed. But I can't care for him as he does me. He will be taken from me as all else has been.

"The Grand Assassin has truly made you do afraid?" She says quietly. Not with pity, but with understanding.

Looking up from my hands, I see the friendship and companionship in her eyes, It is all I have ever known. You cannot defeat him. Azazel cannot defeat him. I cannot defeat him. Anyone who tries will die.

Karasi shakes her head, "Thst sounds like a sad way to live."

I shrug and give her the answer I give everyone else. The only answer I know to give, It is all I have ever known.