A Song of Silence

Chapter 72: Communication in the Dark

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I don't look at Azazel as we saddle the horses and set off to our mysterious destination. My embarrassment and subsequent refusal to admit just how much Azazel affects me leaves me to refuse to look at him in stubbornness. He notices, of course, but doesn't comment on it, at first. What follows is sexual innuendos, flirting, irritating touches, and the occasional bump on the leg as he tries to get another reaction from me. I refuse, of course, but his persistent bothering gets to me no matter how badly I try to stop it.

"Would you stop it!" I practically yell at him after he pokes me again.

He smirks in victory before responding, "I would if you would tell me what it is that bothers you so."

I shake my head at him and go back to ignoring his antics. The barrage of irritating actions continues as he seeks to get another reaction out of me. Taking a deep breath, I am somewhat successful in ignoring him for the rest of the day. At night, however, his antics continue as he books us a room at a local inn. I can tell my silence riles him, but nothing stops his incessant need to get an answer out of me. Luckily, our separate rooms will be a reprieve from his antics, for one night, at least.

Or not. I stand in the doorway of our small room as Azazel putters around with our luggage. "Where is my room?" I ask quietly. I can see Azazel's shoulders sag in relief at the sound of my voice.

He turns to me and responds, "The inn was overbooked, so we were only able to get this one room." That was a lie. I knew it. He knew it. The inn had very few patrons when we had arrived. The matron had looked positively thrilled to have more guests. Azazel was trying to get another reaction out of me. Unluckily for him, I wasn't going to give him one. Turning on my heel, I headed back to the main room with a few coins I had discreetly taken from Azazel's coin purse. He wouldn't mind. The coins were practically spilling out of the pouch when he had hidden it in his saddlebags.

I could hear Azazel's careful footsteps follow me out to the dining room. Looking to the Matron, i gestured to the bowl of questionable looking stew. It was the only thing that wouldn't give me food poisoning in this place. The matron nodded and traded me the full bowl for one of my coins. Taking a seat in the far corner of the room, I didn't move as I felt Azazel settle into the seat next to me. He was a persistent fucker, I'd give him that. Ignoring his presence, I pick at the various 'meat' and vegetables that grace the soup in front of me. Azazel doesn't seem to mind and instead scans the room as I eat my meal. Once the meal is finished, I return the empty bowl to the matron and ignore Azazel all together. I can feel it as he follows me back up the stairs, trying to guard me against an invisible force. I'd never needed someone to watch my back before and I sure as hell didn't need one now.

The silence between us grows as the door closes behind him. He doesn't push, just sits and waits until his presence annoy's me enough that I will snap at him. Taking a measured breath, I change into my nightclothes and take my bag of toiletries to the adjacent bathroom. Azazel follows. Giving him a glare in the mirror, I wash my face and hair in the small sink. I don't have the time or the patience to go down to the wash house, so the sink will have to do.

Azazel breaks first and asks, "Tell me what I did and I will fix it, Aerilynn." He says, a pleading note to his voice. I ignore him. "What honestly could I have done to make you turn away from me so quickly, from us."

I shake my head and wash the last of the soap suds out of my hair. His naivety is abundant at this moment. It is blatantly clear that Azazel doesn't know, or more likely doesn't care about the way his actions look to others. How both of our actions reflect on the both of us.

"You really don't get it, do you?" I ask, irritation and rage coloring my tone.

Azazel leans against the doorframe and crossed his arms, "Get what?"

My arms fly into the air of their own accord as I roll my eyes at him in irritation. "Your actions reflect badly on those around you, not just you, Azazel. This little trip we have taken with no guards, and no allies makes the both of us look weak." Azazel goes to respond but I give him a look and his mouth snaps closed with an audible snap. "We should return back to the palace instead of going on this foolish errand. At least there I can get a break from you and you can regain the political power this foolish errand had cost you." I slam my hand on the counter as I go to close my toiletries bag.

Azazel's voice stops my movements, "I made you look weak. That is what upsets you so?"

I shake my head in denial, "No.." Azazel cuts me off before I can continue.

"Yes, Aerilynn. That is what it is. If I had thought what happened in the bathroom would hurt you so, I never would have done it. You know that I care little for my political power and this little excursion was well planned in advance, you were just the last to know about it. I wanted it to be a fun surprise for the both of us." I go to speak again, but he places a finger over my lips and says, "I thought it was clear, but I will make it clearer now, you call the shots between us. Always. No matter the circumstance, it will always be your decision."

I can feel my neck color in shame as I try to formulate a response, "Thank you for clearing that up, but it was more than me looking weak that angered me so."

I go to speak further, but Azazel cuts me off again as he says calmly, "I thought we agreed not to lie to each other."

My eyebrows scrunch in confusion as I argue, "It wasn't a lie..."

"You hide your hands when you lie. It's an imperceptible tick, but I noticed it all the same. It may not be a full lie, but it is a partial lie all the same."

My shoulders hunch in shame, "The Grand Assassin would hit the tops of my hands when he taught me to lie."

Azazel stiffens, but smiles as he says, "You are trying to distract me. It won't work. I am sorry if I made you feel weak earlier. As I told you before, you call the shots."

I push past Azazel as I pace the length of our small rented room. Turning back to Azazel, I finally say, "I was unused to feeling weak and what we did in the bathroom only furthered that uncertainty. I don't like how much I am affected by you. Your presence makes me feel as if I need to depend on you. I have never had that with anyone and it unnerves me." Azazel looks down as my hands and sees that I wring them nervously.

He approached me and takes them in hand. "I'd it truly so bad that I want you to feel as if you can depend on me, no matter what?" Is it so bad that you can depend on me? Is it truly such a weakness?" Now that I think about it, having Azazel as backup wouldn't be such a bad idea. He is one of the most powerful fae males of his time and he is the High King of Altreya.

I shake my head and look down at my hands, "I suppose it's not such a bad thing, but it is something I am not used to. Give me time. I'll do my best to not freak out about it in the future."

"And will you at least consider talking to me the next time you get freaked out by our relationship instead of cutting me out? Your silence drove me crazy more than anything." He asks. I nod. Azazel sighs and the tension leaves his shoulders as he pulls me into a hug. Pulling back, he asks, "Before we go to bed, Any more revelations you'd like to share?"

I bite my bottom lip in nervousness, "Now that you say it...."