A Song of Silence

Chapter 112: Healing in the Dark

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"For fucks sake," The words burst out of me before I can stop them. "I just apologized to you, which was a very hard thing for me to do by the way and your solution is to say that we are in love, so it's alright?"

"And I pushed you away, which was a very hard thing for me to do as well, Aerilynn. But I am not here to compare the scope of our misery. Nor am I here to hate you. You needed someone when you were panicking and I was here. Would someone that hates you do such a thing or would they have let you suffer?"Refusing to admit how right he is, I shrug my shoulders. He continues speaking, "Nor do I think you would have gone to such lengths in the Istlean Ruins if you didn't think it was worth it." Walking forward until he is inches from me, Azazel takes my hand in his and guides me back to the bed, "You know what your problem is?" He asks gently.

"What?" I ask quietly back.

"You think love has to be earned. Your father spent your entire childhood depriving you of any kind of affection and only doled it out when you became the killer he wanted you to be. When you did receive that affection, you held onto it like a starving child and craved it even more than before. You don't have to earn love Aerilynn, let alone my love. You have always held my heart from the minute we met and I am shocked that such a bright individual as yourself hasn't figured it out by now."

"No, no, no. This isn't right. You reached out your hand and I pushed you away. I needed to prove that I was sorry. That pushing you away was a mistake. Doing what I did, it is the only way I knew how to apologize. To say that I was sorry," I protest.

"And to even make you think that you needed to do something to prove that you meant your apology only further proves my point. Believe me Aerilynn, you don't say anything that you don't mean. If you had apologized to me in person, I would have believed you unquestionably." He says.

"Unquestionably?" I repeat.

"Unquestionably," he says this with such conviction that I can't help but believe him.

"Then let me say it again. I am sorry, Azazel. More than you know I am sorry. For everything."

A small smile appears at the corner of his mouth, "One apology from you is enough, but thank you. Now lay down. You need sleep and a big meal when you wake."

He tries to push me down on the bed, but I resist and grab his wrist. "Will...will you stay?" At his expression I clarify, "Just until I fall asleep. Please. You chase the nightmares away." I admit the last part sheepishly, but Azazel doesn't seem to mind.

A full grown smile now appears on his face before he nods. I snuggle into the bed with Azazel lying next to me. It's not sexual as our other encounters in a bed had been, but comforting. Azazel wraps his arms around me tightly and I drift off to sleep to the rhythm of our breathing.

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When morning comes once more, I find Azazel still there when I wake. The light no longer shines through the windowpanes and I realize that we have probably slept for a really long time. Longer than we should have, at least. Turning over, I find Azazel sound asleep next to me, his arms still draped over me. He looks so peaceful in his sleep. So relaxed. The responsibilities and emotions that come with the day have not yet hit him. He is carefree and happy. When his eyes awake once more, I know they will be clouded with responsibility and fear.

Brushing his inky black hair away from his eyes, his eyes snap open to reveal their silver depths. He looks surprised and then immediately relaxes upon seeing that it is me. Capturing the wrist that had brushed aside his hair, his kisses the inner part of my arm in greeting. "We must get up Azazel." I say quietly.