Love Me.

Part 48

KHUSHI

I looked around my room nervously hoping I had managed to create enough space for him while he unpacked. All this felt scary and exciting at the same time, all I hoped was that the outcome of this was going to be a good one because honestly I didn't know how I was going to be able to handle another heartbreak.

"Are you leaving or not?" Arnav looked at me.

"I can reschedule, I really feel I should stay back and help you get settled."

"I am fine Khushi, I'll just arrange my stuff and head to work also, you shouldn't have to miss our therapy sessions because of this, now come on, get going."

"Fine, if you say so." I pouted as I started looking around for my things, I was so absent minded today, I couldn't remember where I had put my bag or my phone or even my car keys, it took me a while until I found everything.

I arrived on time for my appointment so I headed straight to Neel's office, he greeted me with a smile as soon as I walked in.

"So... how have you been?"

"Good I guess." I smiled awkwardly, I really never knew how to start the conversation with him yet somehow I ended up talking to him so much more than I would to anyone else.

"So, what have you been up to the past two weeks? Anything new?"

"Not much, I've just been busy with work as usual, oh and Arnav and I decided to live together, he just moved in today."

"Wow, that is a big step, would you like to talk about it? How does it make you feel?"

"I don't know... excited and nervous at the same time. I mean it was a mutual decision of course but then I just keep thinking, what if it doesn't work out, what if he breaks my heart again, how will I be able to survive it. I have this repetitive and endless thoughts that make me worry so much. It's like I want to do it and I don't want to do it at the same time."

"I understand you, how about you just let things go by flow. I know it's not easy to tell your mind to stop thinking a certain way and it would stop but how about you just concentrate on the moment yeah? Concentrate on what you are doing now and how that is making you feel, that way you would avoid worrying about what might come ahead.

"Yeah, I can try that."

*****

I walked out of Neel's office once my session was over, we talked about a lot of other things after the little discussion about Arnav and I living together but anyway that wasn't the point. The thing was the way I was feeling at the moment and I realized it was some sort of a pattern.

I had been to like three or four sessions so far and every time I finished the session, I would leave feeling so low and it would last the entire day and sometimes the day after too. I didn't know why it happened because generally therapy is supposed to make you feel better right?

I headed straight to my office after that so I could get started on the next wedding I had to plan, I had a lot of work to do and I dint feel like doing it.

I got into the whole wedding planning business because I loved to do it so much and now it was like I didn't want to do it anymore.

As I pulled up at the parking lot, I noticed Arnav's car there, I parked my car quickly and stepped out wondering what he was doing here.

I found him waiting just outside my office and as soon as I saw him, I just rushed to hug him, he held me tightly into his arms and held on as long as I wanted to.

"Is everything okay?" he asked after I broke the hug, I just nodded as I unlocked the office so we could go inside.

"I thought you were heading to work." I said.