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once again, where am i even here?

the three best friends are currently in the library. joshua's plan earlier was to go straight home after his last class until he received a text from jeonghan. his best friend as well as his crush, yoon jeonghan, wanted to study together. so he found himself turning around after just stepping out of campus.

now, he has to deal the painful sight of his secret crush and his other best friend in their own little world. as if joshua doesn't exist.

joshua first met jeonghan was they were twelve. little joshua was new to the country and jeonghan was excited to meet his new neighbor friend. they later became friends as jeonghan always made sure to help the boy to adapt to the new environment.

"aren't we here to study? or at least lower your voices." joshua sighs with his eyes darting back and forth at the two with a big frown on his perfect face. his honey voice remains soft and calm like always.

the two immediately stop throwing crumbled papers at each other. both pout, giving him the puppy look.

"sorry, joshuji. he started it." the male with long black hair points at the oldest accusingly.

"what do you mean?! you poked me with the pencil first!" seungcheol argues with wide eyes.

the two resume their childish bickering, totally forgetting that they are in a library. the librarian calls them out and threatens to ban them from the library if they yell once more. jeonghan and seungcheol apologize before finally start studying. they don't forget to mock each other one last time though.

joshua sighs and shakes his head. he is tired and wishes more than anything to escape, but jeonghan wanted the three to study together. joshua doesn't want to make jeonghan sulk.

joshua hong is down bad for his best friend, yet the other never once takes a hint. jeonghan is oblivious, but that's okay. joshua doesn't plan on revealing this one-sided love.

yes, he admits that he's in love.

at first, joshua was confused. he never thought he was gay. the male realized his feelings in his first year of high school. since he was uninterested in girls since the very beginning, he accepted his sexuality pretty easily. but it took him a long while to accept his feelings for jeonghan. jeonghan is his best friend and they basically grew up together. he didn't know if his romantic feelings for the guy was allowed, so he settled for the idea of thinking of it as a mere crush. he believed he would move on soon, but he was dead wrong.

day by day, his feelings grew.

in the last year of high school, joshua decided to confess before graduation, but then a new student came into the picture.

choi seungcheol transferred to their school and jeonghan immediately offered him to eat lunch together. jeonghan likes meeting new people while joshua is a shy person. he didn't mind it at first, but jeonghan and seungcheol clicked well on the first day. as the two became closer, joshua became distance.

they are now in their third year in university. joshua gave up the confession idea after seungcheol came along. don't get him wrong, he loves seungcheol. the guy is fun and nice. joshua feels comfortable around him as he always acts like a big brother in the trio even though they are all the same age. although jeonghan is slowly drifting away from him, joshua knows it was never seungcheol's fault. who can he blame for his broken heart? no one but himself.

it is his fault for falling in love with his best friend.





first chapter is short :)

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