it's not over until it's over | jihan

26

after everything, shouldn't it be time to let go?

joshua thinks that's his best bet. he no longer wants to lose himself any further. to joshua, jeonghan personifies destruction.

"jisoo, listen. i don't think you should—"

"no, seokmin. i already made up my mind."

the smiley joshua with sparkling orbs that everyone knows and loves no longer holds his natural sparks. how can one change so much overnight?

since the scene from yesterday, joshua lost his smile completely. no matter how much seokmin tried to lighten up the mood, it was to no veil.

seokmin appears in front of the older, blocking his way out the dorm's door. "are you really going to give up? jisoo, you said you have loved him for so long. you said you have been in love for seven years! heck, probably way longer!" it's not fair for joshua.

it's not fair for jeonghan.

seokmin is not blind. all the murderous glares from the older? the way the guy, whom everybody calls an angel, doesn't hide his dislike for him? the way he doesn't even acknowledge seokmin's existence?

seokmin knows yoon jeonghan is jealous. of what? because seokmin is close to joshua.

"you saw them kiss. so what? you are going to give up just like that. joshua, you always hide your feelings. why can't you just go for it? you love him, damn it!"

he thought joshua would show his emotions. it would be great to see him cry, frown, and or angry. but no.

joshua's eyes are so so dull.

"does it matter? seokmin, they love each other. my two best friends love each other." it gives seokmin goosebumps. joshua is so calm. his voice—his voice...sounds so empty.

no, jeonghan likes you. hyung, he likes you. seokmin wants to shout it out, but he knows the older will not believe it. honestly, who would? but it's true.

joshua looks away. he pushes the tall boy away gently before leaving the dorm.

"jisoo—" but the door shuts in his face.

after the kiss, jeonghan and seungcheol never mention it once. they both know too well how it went.

jeonghan keeps his exhausted eyes down on the ground as he drags his feet to morning lecture.

he couldn't sleep a wink last night. his mind only had joshua. joshua, joshua, and joshua. it is like the male is the only person that his head remembers.

fucking hell. my head feels like it's gonna explode. he heaves a loud sigh. should i just skip school today?

[cheollie]

seungcheol:
you went to school?

jeonghan:
yeah, on my way

seungcheol:
ur head ok?

jeonghan:
no it hurts like a bitch

seungcheol:
i told you to stay home 🙄
u never listen

jeonghan:
🖕🖕

seungcheol:
i know u'll end up skipping anyway so i bought
medicine
hurry back

jeonghan:
stfu who said i'll skip

seungcheol:
watch, ur ass gonna show up here in 10mins

jeonghan:
fuck u, i wont 🖕

"ha, nice seeing you again," the cocky guy stands by the entrance with an annoying smirk.

"shut up, choi seungcheol." the said male refuses to wipe off his smirk though. i'm always right.

jeonghan goes straight to the bedroom to sleep for eternity. i wish i can, he scoffs dryly.

joshua is glad the two people he doesn't want to see are not at school today. still, he chooses to hide himself in his department's library.

even if jeonghan and seungcheol are not at school, he doesn't want his other friends to see him in this state—so fucked up. wonwoo and minghao will not leave him alone, because he bets they already figured out his one and only secret at this point.

even as a perfect student, he always dreads his workload. the work never ends, and he always hated it (everybody does), but not this time.

joshua can't thank his professors enough. see, the only thing that can keep him going at the moment is schoolwork. if he sits still with nothing to do, he thinks he will go crazy.

studying is the best distraction.

the students around him are sending glares and complaining about how aggressive he is typing on his laptop. but does he care? no.

"hyung, stop trying to break the poor device."

joshua flinches at the familiar voice. the seats on both sides of him screech back. he looks at the person who spoke up.

"m-minghao?" he look on his other side. "wonwoo??" the two boys smile at his reaction.

"you seem happy to see us," wonwoo smiles.

"what are you two doing here? what about the others?"

minghao shrugs nonchalantly, "jun threw away one of my frog plushies last night by accident so i am ignoring him."

the glasses boy snorts at the lame excuse, which earns an eye-roll from the chinese.

"wonwoo, you?" joshua asks quietly.

"huh? oh—" he finds himself staring at minghao with puppy eyes. help me. the younger stares back as if saying 'nah, help yourself bro'. "uh..i'm just...bored."

joshua sighs before going back to killing his keyboard, "i have a lot of work to get done. go eat lunch without me."

the two younger males share a knowing glance. joshua is right; they figured it out. unfortunately, minghao and wonwoo are the worst at comforting.

you talk to him, wonwoo nudges his head at joshua.

the heck? why me? you do it first, minghao raises an eyebrow.

i don't know what to say! wonwoo glares.

well i don't either! minghao sasses through his expression.

"stop doing telepathy and go eat," joshua interrupts the soundless conversation with a flat tone.

minghao clears his throat as he moves in his seat. he suddenly starts taking his books out of his louis vuitton bag.

wonwoo gets the hint and does the same. we'll just have lunch late today.

the oldest of the three frowns, not liking how his friends are insisting to stay by his side. he doesn't want to be pitied. he doesn't want to feel more pathetic.

"what are you two doing?"

"studying?" minghao replies with the same tone before sending joshua a childish grin.

"guys—"

"mister hong, no chit-chatting in the library," wonwoo imitates the tone of the front-desk female librarian with his voice an octave lower than it already is.