Barking Mad (Sirius/OC)

My worries

Hello again!

I don't know if you guys noticed, but I uploaded a new story called 'Pride and Prongs'.  I would be honoured if you'd maybe check it out?

Hope you enjoy this one! 

Chapter 26

You give me no worries, 

It seems a little vicious, 

To give you my worries. 

~ Norwegian Stars - Hooverphonic

The week passed quickly, unfortunately for me. It was Tuesday morning when I realised that I had only two more days left to come clean with Lily. To tell her everything I had told James and do a better job at it too. So far James had indeed kept his word, and he didn't treat me any differently than he had before.

Well, apart from the fact that he wasn't sending me narrow-eyed glares any more. That definitely was a plus. The Marauders and Lily hadn't really understood how we patched things up so quickly, but whereas the Marauders had seemingly just shrugged it off, Lily kept on giving me weird looks whenever James nodded at me in the hallways.

"It's still so weird to see you being friends with him," Lily complained during our History of Magic class.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't say we are friends per se, Lils," I said, trying to ease her mind. What was it with her and all these insecurities? I wasn't going to leave her for another new, shinier friend. I honestly wasn't and I didn't really understand her fear of me doing so.

Okay, so maybe that was a tiny lie. I knew I had this way about me of shutting myself off from the public whenever things got rough, but I was working hard on this, wasn't I? For Merlin's sake I was trying to come up with a way to tell her about my past! Even with James I had just blurted it out as I made it up on the spot.

But if James Potter didn't treat me differently than surely Lily wouldn't either, right? Especially since she did in fact know me, whereas James did not?

Oh, that reasoning was bullocks.

Would she pity me all the more because she knows me? Because she knows I still cry out at night? Because she knows how broken I actually am?

What would she do if she knew that people were still out there, wanting me dead?

Surely this would only worry her that much more?

I didn't think that Lily deserved another problem on top of her own worries with Snape. My eyes fell on James' back. I couldn't help but feel a little grateful towards the lad.

He had listened to me and treated me like he would any normal witch or wizard. It was like he had completely forgotten about me being a banshee and was just very understanding about the fact that my parents had died.

Why was that? Why didn't he take the news worse than he had? I frowned at that until I realized how stupid it was to analyse something like that.

Why couldn't I just be glad that he had accepted it? Honestly, why must I always be so paranoid?

"I hate this class," I told Lily, trying to distract myself from my own thoughts.

Lily shrugged. "You need it to go to your last year," she pointed out.

Yes, thank you. I sighed and thudded my head against the desk. "Do I have to stay here?" I asked miserably.

"Unfortunately, yes," Lily replied with a giggle. "Although I have already summarised this chapter."