Barking Mad (Sirius/OC)

I'm a fighter

Chapters 62

You tried to hide your lies,

disguise yourself

Through living in denial

But in the end you'll see

YOU WON'T STOP ME

I am a fighter and I

I ain't gonna stop

~Fighter - Christina Aguilera

The worst two days of my life were a Tuesday and Wednesday, and that is actually saying quite a lot because my life consisted of a lot of bad ones. I was falling to pieces. I had been for months, and it hurt my head to think something that melodramatic. Maybe Nika had been rubbing off on me. Nika... My heart couldn't possibly break any more at the thought of her. I had no idea where she was and it was eating me alive. She never showed up for that meeting in September and that was well over a month ago.

I had to face the facts.

I sighed and leaned my head against the window. I hadn't really spoken to any of the other Marauders since she had disappeared. I just couldn't bare the pitying glances or their speculation. Nika had been as safe as any of us, which meant not at all, so yes, she could have been kidnapped by Death Eaters.

I hoped that wasn't true. I would rather see her happy with someone else. I would rather she had run away from us, from the war, from me. I would rather that I'd spot her in a decade from now with a tiny little girl and boy from a different man than that she was lying dead somewhere.

She could not be dead. She simply couldn't. My karma couldn't be that bad.

"Sirius," Remus murmured, and I looked up. I hadn't noticed him sitting next to me before just then. I shoved the butterbeer away from me and gave him my undivided attention. He had hunted me down all the way to Hogsmead, after all. He deserved to have his say, whatever that was, and then I needed him to go.

"Padfoot, honestly, you have to-"

"Get over it?" I finished the sentence for him angrily.

Remus blanched and slowly shook his head. "Of course not. Nobody expects you to get over her, Pads. We just want what's best for you. Why don't you spend Halloween with me and Peter, hm? We were planning on watching some horror movies."

Muggle movies. I had to admit that the idea of them still fascinated me, even though Nika and I had spent the last four Halloweens at Peter's place watching them. That was also exactly the reason why I couldn't go. "Can't, I have plans."

"Sirius Black," Remus started in his usual stern voice that meant he was going to verbally smack me around the room, but Arthur Weasley saved my hide.

He barged into the Three Broomsticks and came to a rushed halt next to our table. "Sirius," he breathed, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed. He was breathing heavily and the sad look in his eyes, made me exhale loudly and look away.

"We've found her."

They found her body, was what he didn't say. I laid my head on my arms and stared blankly at the butterbeer I hadn't been drinking before. Even alcohol had lost its merit, which seemed ridiculous.