Barking Mad (Sirius/OC)

Go your own way

Chapter 39

You can go your own way!

You can call it another lonely day!

~ Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

"I'm not doing it," Lily said decisively as we marched back to the Gryffindor Common Room.

And when I say marched, I mean we really marched. Lily was practically running by the time we hit the staircase and didn't slow down once. I think she was trying to outrun her own fears and so far that didn't seem to be working out for her all that great.

"Lily," I started, but she turned around midstride, making us almost collide in the process.

I stopped just in time however and stared at her questioningly. "I don't know what has gotten into you, Nika," Lily said, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. "You bloody well mauled Black and I think you were going to spit at him at some point."

I frowned. That's disgusting. "I wasn't."

She gave me a pointed look. "What I mean to say is that you are not acting like yourself otherwise you would see how mad this whole ordeal is. We cannot defeat him, do you hear me? We are students at Hogwarts, who will be expelled for meddling in the Dark Arts if we aren't careful. Something, I remind you, I ended my friendship with Severus - Snape - over."

I patted her arm awkwardly. "I am sorry about Snape, Lils," I murmured gently. "I really am."

She seemed to deflate a little as she looked away from me, sadness glistening in her eyes. "I know you are, but I just cannot do this. I can't. I won't."

"You don't have to, Lily," I replied gently as I pulled her a little closer to me. Did I hug her now?

Lily made the decision for me and practically jumped into my arms and put her own around my neck. "Yes, Nika. I do," she muttered darkly, before pulling back. "What other trouble will you get into without me?"

I gave her a look. "I survived quite a few years without you, you know," I pointed out. When I saw the hurt wash over her face though, I immediately regretted my earlier words. "I didn't mean it like that."

Lily shook her head and took a step away from me. "No, look, it's okay. I just can't let you do this on your own. No offence, sweetheart, but you'd crash and burn. Both of you. It's just..."

I stared at here incomprehensively, before giving a deep sigh. "You feel like a hypocrite towards Snape," I guessed.

She shrugged and started marching away again. I caught up to her and pulled her to a stop.

"Lily," I started slowly, "you are not a hypocrite and I cannot, will not ask you to do this. This is my problem, not yours."

Lily shook her head. "No, we are in this together now," she swore. "After all those years with Severus and his family, I know quite a few things."

"Like the Horcruxes," I guessed.

"There are no books in the library about Horcruxes," she murmured, looking away from me again. I wondered what the story there was, especially since I had always thought that Snape's family was quite uptight. Especially concerning Muggleborns.

I copied Sirius' signature move and pulled her chin towards me again, before quickly letting go. Lily gave me a weird look, and I realized that this was not a move you used on your friends. Oops. I was so bad at this. "I would love your help, Lily, but I can't promise you it won't be dangerous."