My Brother's Best Friend 

Chapter 20: Conflicted Feelings

Edited

In the days that went by Jared and I began to hang out a lot. We'd hang out during school and outside of school and to be honest I don't think I've ever had so much fun with a guy.

But the question still remained. What exactly were we doing? Because I honestly had no idea.

After that night we kissed, he never kissed me again. I don't know if it's because he thought we were just friends or that he wasn't for sure if what we were doing was the right thing or that Ryan not knowing about us hanging out was bothering him. I honestly don't know what it was, but there was something I did know for sure.

I wanted to kiss him again. There was no doubt about it, but I'm scared.

What if the night when I kissed him he changed his mind? What if he doesn't see me the same way anymore? What if he thinks I'm too easy?

There were so many possibilities that just the mere thought of some of them had me wanting to cry.

"What are you thinking about?" Jared asked as I looked over at him.

We'd grabbed some coffee, before heading to the park and just walking around. Today wasn't like all the other days. Neither of us were really talking much. There was something hanging in the air. Something that the both of us were afraid to say, but it was something that needed to be said.

I shook my head, looking at the ground, before the both of us unconsciously sat down at the next bench we came up to.

"I just—!" I tried, but pressed my lips together, afraid to say it. "I don't—I don't know what we're doing. Because a week ago you told me you wanted to be the guy that cared about me and I thought you meant—!"

"I did, and I still do, but the more we hung out—!"

"The more you realized you made a mistake." I finished for him, looking away.

How could I be so stupid as to believe him? Why?! Why am I such a sucker!

"No—!"

I shook my head. "I can't believe I actually believed you—"

"Mallie!" he yelled as I looked at him. "That's not what I was going to say. What I was going to say was that the more I hung out with you this past week the more I realized I liked you. It's just after we kissed that night... I didn't want to jump into anything. You know I don't want you to have any conflicted feelings."

"Conflicted feelings?!" I cried. "Jared, Nathan and I broke up a month ago and yes he broke my heart. I'm not going to lie. It hurt. But I stopped feeling for him the moment I realized who he'd become. What kind of person he'd become. There's no way I could ever go back to someone like that. He's different now and I don't know why. I tried to fix it. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't talk to me. So, no I'm not having conflicted feelings Jared! The only thing I'm conflicted about is whether or not you actually—!"

He cut me off by immediately pressing his lips to mine, silencing my little rant as our lips began moving in sync together. My stomach immediately started doing somersaults, while every other part of my body was going haywire.

Jared was kissing me.

Finally.

He pulled away, as I stared at him for a moment, out of breath. "Did you just kiss me?" I whispered, not knowing what else to say since the kiss had left me absolutely flustered.

He grinned and I almost melted on the spot. "Yeah,"

I gulped. "Oh,"

Seriously Mallie! Oh? Is that all you can say now?

He chuckled, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "You're so beautiful,"

My cheeks immediately burned red as I looked down trying to avoid his eyes. When I finally gathered the courage to look back into his eyes he was smiling at me.

"What?" I whispered, my lips slowly turning into a smile.

"You have a volleyball game tomorrow don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah,"

"I don't have football tomorrow so..." he smiled.

A smile of my own came to my face. "Are you gonna come?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," he grinned.

Things were finally starting to fall into place, it seemed. 

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Hey,

I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a long time. My mom is really sick and my dad has to work so I have to tak care of her. On top of that I have to do my chores so I'm really sorry if I don't update in a while, but thank you for being patient with me.

Chapter dedicated to @life_for_real because her comments make me die!

~Katy