My Brother's Best Friend 

Chapter 41: Pain, Pain, and More Pain

Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
-The Fault In Our Stars

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

The sound of machines engulfed my entire being. The only thing I could hear were the steady beeps of the machines as I sat in the room next to my Uncle's bedside. I'd been here for two days. I haven't left. I haven't eaten. I haven't slept.

And Jared hasn't left either.

He's asleep on the couch right now. Aunt-Hailey and Ryan went to the cafeteria to get food and I've been sitting here in this exact chair, the same exact way for the past two days. My legs are pulled up to my chest, my arms wrapped around them as I rock back and forth.
I felt like my whole life has fallen down. Like my body is numb and I can't move, or walk, or speak, the only thing I can do is sit and watch.
The doctors said that Uncle-Steven had no chance of making it because he has cancer in his lungs. They said that if he didn't have cancer there still might've been a chance that he could make it, but that he was going to die soon anyway. So, it was our choice when we wanted to flip the switch. When I heard that... I was dead. My entire life felt like it was falling apart and I didn't want to do anything. The only thing I did was turn around and sob into Jared's chest. I cried harder than I'd ever cried in my life because the realization was sinking in. I didn't have a mother. I didn't have a father.

And now...

I wasn't going to have an Uncle either.

My life was slowly falling apart again. I had just found the love of my life again and for a few days I actually thought my life was perfect, but you know what they say. Nothing's perfect... and nothing lasts forever. I guess that goes for happiness too.

Happiness doesn't last forever. It's gotta end someday.

As I looked at my Uncle, tubes and wires sticking out of him, I recalled the very last conversation we'd had that very morning of his accident.

"Hey Mallie, could you stay for a couple more minutes I need to tell you something, kiddo." he said.

I hadn't realized he actually looked a bit worried. I was too focused on other things.

"I can't Uncle-Steven I'm late. We can talk later!" I smiled. "Bye!"

The very last thing I'd said to him. It was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Knowing that the last thing I'd said to my Uncle was those words.

I can't Uncle-Steven I'm late. We can talk later!

We can talk later.

We can talk later.

The words kept ringing in my ears as I stared at my Uncle's almost lifeless looking body. I'd never be able to know what he wanted to tell me that day because I couldn't take five minutes of my time to listen to what he had to say. Five minutes! Knowing that five minutes of my life could've changed his forever made the anger that I hid inside me all the time start to sizzle. It sizzled and it sizzled, until I exploded with rage getting up and throwing my chair against the wall as a startled Jared jolted awake.
I let it all out throwing knives and scalpels at the wall as Jared tried to calm me down.

"Mallie," he whispered as my body trembled with anger and my grip tightened on the scalpel in my hand, cutting deep and letting blood run down my hand.

He took the scalpel out of my hand as I stared at his chest blankly. I didn't even realize when he began to clean the wound with alcohol and wrap my hand in a small bandage. I felt the tears threatening to spill and before I could stop them I choked back a sob and buried myself into his chest.