Howling at the Moons

CH 38: I Don't Understand

A/N:  Hi everyone. Want a double update today? Well here it is. I hope you enjoy it!

How do ya'll think the story is going? Like it? 

I was trying to keep this under 50 chapters but that's not going to happen from the looks of it. My goal now is under 75 chapters now. But does size really matter???  :-P   It's just more to love right???   55555!!!!

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BEAM'S POV

Dinner is nice if a little subdued, but I'm feeling a little unsettled. Pha and I are sitting on either side of Yo with Ming and Kit across the table from us, and I can't help but to keep sneaking looks at Yo. He's an enigma to me, and I feel like I need to figure out him out.

We're lingering over our meals at this point, doing more talking than eating, and Pha is explaining to Ming something that happened at school today. Taking their distraction as an opportunity, I lean over and quietly ask Yo, "Why didn't you make them stop? I know you're capable of it, so why didn't you."

"P'Beam, they weren't trying to hurt me. They were just being a little aggressive about me joining them. It might have turned into something different later, and I would have defended myself at that time. But right then, it wasn't something to hurt someone over."

"N'Yo, you were scared of them, I saw the look on your face. So, I don't get it. I don't understand you. You could have made them scared, you could have forced them to back off. Why didn't you?"

"P', it's not hard to understand. Just because I'm scared doesn't mean I should use my gifts to scare others. Would you have me become like them? Using force on others to get my way? I don't want to be like that. I don't want to force people to do what I want them to do or feel only what I want them to feel."

While that answer is reasonable, I'm not satisfied with it. I would have defended myself if I had his powers. I would have made them back off. I've seen him do it too, so I know he can. "N'Yo I saw you use your skills on Park. You didn't seem to mind hurting him." There are gasps around the table, but I'm too deep into my conversation with Yo to pay attention.

"T-That was d-different. Park was hurting me. He would have h-hurt me more if I'd gone with him." Yo takes a deep breath and lets it out. "P' just because I'm capable of doing something doesn't mean I should do it."

"Still wouldn't it be easier if people were afraid of you? No one would pick on you or try to take advantage of you? It would be easier if you made them fear you."

"P'Beam, do you really think I want people to fear me?" Yo's voice rises as he throws my words back at me. His eyes are filling with tears as he speaks. Uh oh, he's getting upset. That's not what I meant to do. I look at the others at the table and they don't look happy right now.

Yo continues, "Do you think I want people to look at me like I'm some kind of freak or a monster? Do you really think I want to become that kind of person? Do you really think I'm capable of being that kind of person? Is that what you really think of me P'Beam?"

Crap! I don't know what to say and before I can think of something, he jumps up from the table and runs toward the bathrooms.

"Ai'Beam! What are you doing?" I turn to find Kit staring daggers at me. Glancing at Pha and Ming, I see their faces have also gone from unhappy to angry... at me.

Pha gives me a cold look, before saying to Ming, "I'll go."

"No." Ming interrupts. "You deal with your friend and I'll go check on Yo." He shakes his head then leaves the table.