The Promises Unfulfilled✅

26. Indefinable thoughts

~What defines a champion is not winning, but rising after defeat.

Zehra

Many a time, life gives us surprises. As a child, I never knew what a family was supposed to be like. Family; the one word I detested. Growing up wasn't easy, it never was, it never will, we just had to adjust ourselves to it.

Home; a place of serenity, cherished love and happiness. For me it was the right opposite. A father who used to scream in the middle of the night, but during the day the most lovable, a mother who would scream in the day, but become a kitten at night. A brother so loving at the day, but cries to sleep at night.

Poor me. A girl who never questioned. A girl who accepted anything. You give trash, then I'd take it wholeheartedly. The young me, was the epitome of foolishness and innocence. I would cry for their love, but at the end of the day, it was always Zameer, who would console me. Alas he would cry alone. Oh dearest brother, if I were a bit mature then, I would wipe your tears and hold you in my arms everyday.

Life changes, and so did my family. My Dada left for good, my Mama got married again. My brother distanced himself, I was left all alone, yet again.

I thought about how Zameer had questioned asking how I was. He cares, though he never shows it. Atleast he had spoken to me. It was a start. Maybe it'll get better. It sure will. There'll be good days too.

Years back, my mother had thought that sending me to boarding school would do me good, and it did, one of the right choices she made in life.

I remember the first day I went to boarding school, how the four of us bonded together. Looking back, I would have laughed if one said that we'll be friends in future too.

Friends; thinking about them, my lips stretched into a genuine smile. I laughed at our stupid fights. My thoughts automatically went to Aahil. How stupid of me. I didn't even know anything about him, yet why am I even wondering what he's doing right now? I shrugged. I couldn't help but wonder who he'll marry. What if he married Humaira? She speaks alot about him. Well, who cares?

Maybe I'll marry someone in my late twenties. Someone who will be loving like my step dad. I respected him, unlike my own father. Yes, I love my father, but at the same time, all he did was hurt us. Though he was supposed to be the one to guide us, it was he who led us astray.

Dada, only if you've been here till this day, I wonder how things would have been. How naive we humans are, to think about this if. If only I hadn't done this, if only I hadn't done that. What an atrocity.

I remember the day my father had never returned back, his final words still echoing in my mind.

"I've had enough!"

He left. That same day when we had promised to never leave each other.

Till this day, I had no idea about the reason for their fight. Ever since I remember, all they had done was fight, but this was something surely big. Something surely painful. Months later, mama had already married someone else. And dada was nowhere to be seen.

Is this what they call a family? Tears, pain, cries and sadness?

I opened my cupboard, rummaging the shelves. In it was a red covered book. Wiping the dust off it, the words With Love, Dada were written with big letters on the front. I opened the first page, sadly looking at the words I wrote years back.