You Make it Possible-Under Re-Write

38

Being in this room now brings on a new anxiety. I don't think anything has to even be happening in this room for me too feel this uncomfortable now.

The Micheals Study.

Every time I'm brought in here, bad news, or bad things are being said. With an exception of that one intimate moment with Kai, which unfortunately was now being washed away with the conversation we're having right now with pack leadership and my mother and Abuelita.

"So those are her options? Either come now and no one dies, or stay and he kills everyone then takes you anyway?" Kai says. Each word coming from his mouth sounding and feeling like daggers in my chest.

This was his first time hearing the events of lunch with my dear old dad.

He decided it would be best I tell everyone at once so I didn't have to keep repeating it. At first I didn't get it, until Kai asked that question and I realized how drained I felt talking about this. Having to explain it 3 times would've taken a toll on me. Shit, it's taking a toll on me now.

"Yes. That's the gist of it." I say with a bitter chuckle.

The room stays silent for a while, and I stop and take a look at every person in the room. Starting with my mom and Abuelita, who were holding each other's hands like their lives depended on it. They each had a steady flow of tears falling, and my mothers shoulders were down, and her eyes distant. She looked defeated. My Abuelita stood tall like she's always did. Her shoulders back, her chin up, but her eyes gave her away. Aside from the tears, her eyes were just as distant as my mother's. She clearly felt just as deflated as my mother, yet still refused to show it.

My eyes then fall to Damien, Elise, and Kai. Each of them have an angry fire in their eyes, but also swirls of worry. Kai was emitting every negative emotion in the book. I could feel all of his anger, frustration, sadness, and worry. His mixed with mine felt like my brain would explode any minute, and I'm sure he felt the same.

Lastly, I look at Johanna, Daisy, Ryan, Nicholas, Trevor and Alyssa. The rest of pack leadership, Kai's aunts and uncles, and Damien and Elise's sisters and brother. When I look at them I feel guilt. Each of their eyes hold so much fear. As the mates comfort each other I can feel my guilt piling on my chest more and more. Aside from the fact this is the Micheals family, they each had families of their own. Kai's cousins, who I met at the twins birthday party. They were all just in as much danger as I was and I barley knew them.

It wasn't fair.

"I think we all know what has to be done." Damien says as he takes a step into the small circle we've all created around the room and crosses his arms over his chest. His eyes hold truth. Whatever he was about to say was what it was going to be, because no one else wanted to make that decision.

I flinch at his words knowing what they were. I'd have to go. I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt, but I know he's right. I needed to leave.

"We prep for an attack."

"What? No" I say immediately.

Everyone's eyes fall on me, and I take special notice in Kai's angry stare.

"The paperwork side of the merge with the pack from Colorado is finalized. We have the numbers now there's nothing Ezekiel can do. He can wage a war but his pack won't survive it." He states.

"I don't want a war Damien, I don't want anyone fighting or being put in anymore danger than they already are."

"So you're just gonna let him take you from us? From me?" Kai says looking deep into my eyes. We stood across from each other, and I wanted so badly to hold his hand and kiss him till the pain he was feeling would go away, but it feels like there's this wall between us now. It was only hours ago that we told each other how much we loved each other, but now this wall of new information sits between us. I know it's because we clearly don't agree on what should be done.