You Make it Possible-Under Re-Write

50

On the drive back from rock springs with Kai, I had planned to meet with Jane today and have what she called an "art party". Meaning it would just be the two of us in her apartment painting and blasting music.

As I was packing up my things Phoebe came bursting into the room.

"Tyler asked me out!"

I look up from my small bag of paint brushes and meet the wide eyed smiling face of my sister. She looks ridiculously happy and it made me feel bad about being such a Debby downer about the situation.

"That's cool" I say and go back to getting my things together.

"You're not mad?" She asks plopping on the bed next to my bag.

"I don't think it's a good idea, but it's clear the both of you won't listen to me." I mutter.

Phoebe sighs.

"Well, I guess at least you're not mad!" She says cheerfully and pulls me into a hug.

I don't respond, only smile and go back to getting my things together once Phoebe leaves the room.

"Where you off to mija?" My dad says suddenly appearing at the door.

"To my friend Janes, y'all met her at the art gallery."

"Oh alright."

"Everything okay?" I ask taking notice of his droopy eyes.

"Yeah. Any chance you'll be home this evening?" He asks hopefully.

"Yeah, I'll be home for dinner" I say.

My dad sighs as if relieved. "Great, uh, I'd like to take you out this evening. I feel like we haven't spent much time together this summer."

I stop packing my things and really look at my dad.

It's true. I had been spending a lot of my time with Kai. I noticed my dad had been working longer and more hours than he normally did, and I could see the dark bags under his eyes getting darker almost every time I saw him.

"Sure dad, just us?"

"Yeah" he says with a smile.

"Okay, I'll be home around 4." I say with a smile.

My dad smiles and nods his head before leaving the room.

I can't help but feel anxiety about this evening. It felt random but I kept trying to remind myself it's because he misses me. I came back from school but I never really came back. All my attention and time has been spent figuring out Kai's secrets, then my mom's, and now it's being spent trying to keep my psychotic birth father from killing off my entire family. I know this would be easier if he just knew, but I couldn't tell him my part without exposing moms, and we all know her thoughts on what he should and shouldn't know.

I do my best to put it out of my mind and worry about it later. Today I was going to paint with my new friend, and pretend my world wasn't on the verge of ending.

~

"So I follow this artist on YouTube who does like follow along videos, and I thought it was something we could do together?" Jane says excitedly.

When I arrived Jane was super eager to get started. She said not many artists she tries to befriend ever actually hang out with her. I didn't really get why, she was so open and sweet I'm shocked she even paid any attention to me.

"Yeah I'm down" I say with a smile.

Jane and I set up our easels angled in the center of the living room so we would both be able to watch the video on her TV.