You Make it Possible-Under Re-Write

40

Kai and I arrived at the cabin around 10 last night. I was shocked I had basically slept the entire way here, and when we got here I was able to fall straight asleep again.

I knew I was exhausted from waking up in terror almost every night, but I didn't know I was this sleep deprived. Last night however, was the first night since my first transition that I didn't have any nightmares. I'm about 99% sure it's because I had Kai here with me.

Since I had slept so much I was up really early. 4am early. I was going to get up and try and make breakfast for us but I'm currently trapped underneath Kai.

His head rests on my chest and his arm is wrapped tightly around my waist as soft snores escape his pouted lips.

I could faintly see the features of his face through the moonlight coming from the window, and he looked completely at peace. I could tell he was exhausted too. I feel like every day I see him the circles around his eyes get a little darker, but I have no doubt so have mine.

I felt guilty every time I look at Kai's family, and all the pack leaders. This last meeting we had, I noticed each of them looked just as exhausted if not more than the both of us. My own family drama became theirs, only this family drama is lethal and could cost so many lives.

"Stop"

The sound of Kai's very gruff morning voice startles me, and I almost think I imagined it until he turns his head and his sleepy eyes meet mine in the dark.

"Stop what?" I ask confused.

Kai sighs and lifts himself up to press a kiss to my forehead and lays back down on my chest before responding.

"Feeling guilty" he says peering at me from his dark hooded eyes.

I chuckle lightly and shake my head. Being able to feel each others feelings is something I probably won't ever get used to.

"I can't help it." I say as I lightly brush my fingers through his hair, something I've noticed he loves.

Kai sighs and leans into my touch, and as calm as he seemed I could feel a subtle sense of his frustration.

"Please try to think of this from my perspective." I start. "My boyfriend of only about 2 months, his family, and his family's family who are basically strangers to me, are all putting themselves in actual danger because of me."

"But you're part of this pack. You're part of this family." He says sadly.

"I know that but this wasn't my life before. This is all new to me. You know that." I add.

Kai's face falls in defeat, but he nods.

"Sometimes I forget." I says resting his head back on my chest.

"Do you want this?" Kai finally asks after a few moments of silence.

"What?" I ask.

"This. Us. This life with wolves and witches and pack leaders."

After he says it Kai turns his head to face me.

I look down at him nervously. My heart rate picking up slightly from the sudden question.

Of course I wanted us. I wanted this relationship and this great relationship I have with his family. I just wish my part didn't come with so much dread when his has brought me so much happiness.

"Of course I want this." I finally say after feeling Kai's anxiety intensify at my silence. I feel him relax immediately once I finally respond. "It's just that, you make me so happy. Your family makes me so happy and I love you and I love them, but with my love for you and them comes all of this old family drama that doesn't just inconvenience you. It puts each and every one of you in danger."

"But it's not your fault. Ezekiel is the root of all of this. Not you. And yeah, this is abnormal to you and I do understand that, but we'd do the same thing for anyone in our pack." When I don't respond Kai gives my waist a tight squeeze before he clears his throat like he was laughing.

"What?" I ask confused.

"This is all just a little baggage." He says looking at me with a small mischievous smile. "Just a little case of daddy issues that's all."

I burst out into laughter at his comment. "Daddy issues huh?"

Kai laughs and nods his head.

"If only this daddy issue could be solved with therapy." I add laughing.

Kai laughs and snuggles against me tighter.

"We'll be okay." He finally says and places a kiss in the crook of my neck, just a centimeter shy of my mark, but it was close enough to send chills down my spine.

I only smile and nod at Kai, not really trusting my voice to sound convincing enough. Although I wasn't super confident about everything being okay, I knew Kai was, and his confidence was enough to keep me motivated.

"Wanna get up and make pancakes?" He asks with a wide grin.

I chuckle at his childlike smile. "It's like 4 am and you want pancakes?"

Kai smiles deeply, his two adorable dimples popping out immediately.

"Okay fine" I say with a smile.

"Yes!" He screeches and hopes off the bed and goes straight for the kitchen.

The one thing I'll definitely never get used to is how Kai could go from ridiculously sexy, to cheek squishing adorable in a span of five seconds. But I gotta say it's one of my favorite things about him.

~

After breakfast Kai and I took quick showers and prepped ourselves for the day. We had plenty of time to kill before the full moon reached its highest point, so Kai had pretty much planned something for every moment of the day, starting with a hike around the property.

When we arrived last night it was obviously pitch black, and not much to see, but when the sun began to rise I was absolutely mesmerized by the view.

The cabin was high on the hills of this place. The roads we drove on were created with white rocks that Kai called caliche. On top of our hill, the cabin sat right in the middle. It was a modest size, and had a good sized kitchen, living area, and dining area all in one room, and It had only one bedroom and a bathroom. It sort of felt like a honeymoon spot.

As Kai was inside grabbing a few things for the hike, I stood outside taking in the view all around us. From our hill, I could see distant hills and I could faintly make out the water tower that was in town. The sky was perfectly blue today, with hardly any clouds in the sky. It was a perfect day.

"Ready to go?" I hear from behind me.

I turn around just as Kai has finished locking up the cabin. "Yep!" I say with a genuine smile. Being out here has already lifted my spirits a little. I guess until tonight I can pretend I'm going on a small vacation with my boyfriend. That way I can keep all the bullshit that's waiting for me in Houston behind. Just for the day.

"Then let's go" he says with a smile as he takes my hand and leads us off down the road away from the cabin.