Shut Up & Listen

Oh No, I Hope I Don't Fall

August 2
5:25p

Kwabena

It's been a minute since the party for Dame. I been keeping my feelings to myself all along, but I got time today.

I went in on Cole, he ain't deserve that— I know it. Lonnie on the other hand... I should've been talking to him instead of Cole. I know for sure Colin ain't go out seeking that nigga— Cole not into that shit. If Lonnie and Cole hooking up, it's because Lonnie initiated it— I know it.

It's late in the day as I'm pulling up to where Lonnie be at when he not doing his dirt. He like to stay low key, to hisself most times— I liked that about him. This old campus used to be a health center or some shit like that, now it's abandoned and where Lonnie be hiding out. Rolling around to the back end of one of the buildings, I see Lonnie's car.

He gets out immediately, before I even fully turn the corner— I guess he be more alert now. Haha, my fault. The closer I get, I expect to feel nerves or at least some type of emotion but nothing. Guess I'm over this nigga.

If you over him, what the fuck you popping up for?

Nobody asked you, conscience. But since you all active and shit today, how he look?

Watching him walk over to my truck with his tatted arms in a skin tight bleached white wife beater and some tan cargos— that Jill Scott song starts in my head saying he's got this masculine thing about him... shoulders, back straight...  never slumping, never round.

You know you wanna hop on this nigga di-

"What you doing here?" He asked through my rolled down window, cutting off my thought. I observed his face as he leaned into my window, dangerously close. I turned off my car and pushed his arms off the window so I could get out. We had a stare down for a few seconds before he asked again.

"You tryna get back at me?" I asked, nonchalantly. I moved my hands to the entrance of my pockets but noticed him watching my movements and decided to leave them at my side instead. I don't want him thinking I'm bothered about his ugly ass.

He halfway rolled his eyes, before looking down and looking back up at me, sighing. "What am I getting you back for, Kwabena? Have you done something that would call for revenge?" He asked, sarcastically. He leaned back on his car folding his arms.

"I

"You what?" He asked, tilting his head to the side with his eyes low. "Why are you here, Kwabena? You're done with me, remember? We tried this, the talking shit— you aint wanna do it then and I don't wanna do it now. I'm doing good, I don't need you coming around tryna reverse shit for me."

"And what about me?"

"What about you?"

"How do you think it feels that you went and found the person closest to me to get back at me."

"To get back at you? Wow, delusion is an understatement at this point. You would be fucking dead if it weren't for me looking out for you. Even after you turned on me, I still take care of you! Everybody I know think you should be the one to pay for me being jumped like that— but I keep you safe. I'm the reason none of my guys put a bullet in you and you think I'm trying to get revenge?"

"Then explain why you gotta be with Cole, then? Out of all people you could be with."

"Let's take a trip down memory lane. Hmm, yeah to the day I walked to your house to help you move. Do you remember that? Okay, now I recall knocking on your door and old mister Arabian nights himself opened YOUR shit— the only nigga in the world who wants my blood, mind you. Is this ringing any bells?" He frowned, bugging his eyes for emphasis.

"Fast forward a couple minutes, and I'm laying on your living room floor, half fucking dead and you're where? Oh okay, gotcha." He nodded, rubbing his bottom lip looking as if he was putting together a puzzle in his head. "While you were... I don't know where you were bro honestly, I just know that your friend Cole was where I would've expected for you to be. By my side, doing whatever necessary to help me live. I owe that nigga. I like that nigga. That nigga is good people. That nigga can be trusted. That nigga trusts me— we cool."

He stops just to ogle me— my expression remains solid to avoid any confusion. I don't want him to feel like he got to me.

"Is there anything else you would like for me to explain to you mister Moor? Anything else you'd like to understand?" He asked in a way that you'd talk to a toddler and that really pissed me off.

"Yeah." I said, looking at his mouth, "Why the fuck you growing that ugly ass mustache out?" I asked, getting back into my truck.

He laughed, rubbing his fingers on either sides of his lips, caressing said mustache. "Cole like it." He smiled— a toothy one as he watched me for a reaction, but I was quick.

"I bet." I said, looking him up and down, "He like his dick tickled when his bitch gaggin' on it."

He only nodded, slightly pointing a finger at me as to say 'touché'. "Get outta here 'fore my guys see yo scrawny ass." He said, making eye contact with me before I pulled out of the parking lot.

About three minutes out, I get a text from an unsaved number.

Unknown
If you want me back just say that

A smile crept across my face. He wanna play.

[05.24.2021]