Shut Up & Listen

A Niggas Needs

June 28
Cole

9:40pm
Soon as I got in my car, I was faced with a question I'd already asked myself five times in the two minutes it took to walk from Cobe's bed to my car.

"You got him outcha system now?" She doesn't even know the depths of that question. She don't know who I went to see or why... I told her it was a friend I hadn't seen in a while who just got back to the city. If she knew the complexity of our friendship, shit... she probably would never talk to me again.

I didn't respond. I just put my car in gear and pulled out of the parking lot. I know I should've left him alone, but damn... when I found out he was back in town I couldn't help myself. I'm still pissed at his ass, but I don't even know....

After I left Detroit for my tour, I decided to leave it all behind. I promised myself that I would start fresh when I came home. But once I got here, I just kept thinking about him. It was anger, then it was worry, then it was lust, then it was anger again, then it was memories, then it was daydreams... like shit Cobe, why can't you just stay the fuck out my head.

I just had to hold him one more time, I honestly didn't mean to have sex with him, it just happened. His scent and his warmth intoxicated me and my mind went on autopilot. I swear it felt like old times, up until my lips left his neck. I looked at him and everything came flooding back. I got pissed all over again with just one look at his face but I had to finish what I started. I made sure he felt my anger though.

All these muh fuckas think they can break my heart and keep my mind in chains. I say fuck that and fuck them! Fuck Cobe and fuck Jill. They don't want me so I don't need them. I'm a whole different man now, I grew the fuck up, so whatever the fuck niggas thought I was before, they can fly that shit to the moon.

"Damn Cole, pay attention to the damn road 'for you kill us nigga."

"I just got a lot on my mind baby."

"So you still thinking about your friend?"

"Nah... well yeah but no.., it's just everything."

"Everything? You don't tell me shit."

"I don't know what to tell you baby.... it's just too complicated."

"Well... I'm just saying. I feel like I don't even know you."

"I don't get why you so pressed. We ain't together."

"Shiiiit, I ain't tryna cuff yo raggedy ass. I just like you nigga."

"I know what you like... and it ain't my pretty face."

"Nigga you 'bout to miss the damn exit while you talking shit."

I quickly flick on my right turning signal and cut off the car beside me to make it to the exit. I fly up the ramp almost hitting a car at the light, but I swerved at the right moment turning onto my street without any casualties.

"What the fuck is you doing Cole?!"

"I'm tryna hurry up and get my Black ass in the shower damn. I got shit to do tonight."

"What you doing tonight?"

"I work at 12."

"It's only ten, why you rushing?"

"I gotta go see my brother before I go to work."

"You got a brother? What his name?"

"Dame."

"That's cool, I used to know somebody named Damon. He went by Dame too."

"Mhm. You want me to drop you off now or when I leave back out?"

"You can drop me now. I don't wanna hold you up."

I pull up to her house a few minutes later. I get out to open her door and we stand up against the car talking for a few minutes. I pull her in so she's leaning up against me with her back to me. I'm holding her around her waist and her hands are rested on mine. We're just standing there with my chin in the crook of her neck.

"C'mon Cole.. you got shit to do remember."

"You know my time is never wasted with you girl."

"I know baby, how could anyone resist spending time with a goddess like me?"

"I can't wait to see you again Lil baby, when you gonna be free again?"

"I should be asking you that super star. You the one with mad callers and shit."

"I see how it is... you want to go on a date?"

"I don't know it depends..."

"On What?" She turns her head to look at me with a gleaming smile.

"Are you courting me or just tryna fuck? Cuz, you already know I'm down for you baby, you don't have to waste money on a date and shit."

"Jameika, you deserve so much better than my broke ass. I've messed up with beautiful, intelligent, spiritual and head straight women before, I'm not gonna fuck it up this time, so we finna go on this date aight."

"Okay Colin. You just tell me when and where."

I kissed her on her forehead and walked her to the door. Sure we've already fucked and I haven't cuffed her yet, but tonight with Cobe made me realize that I gotta treat my relationships with more care. I wanna treat her right, I'm really feeling her.

After I dropped Jameika off, I sped off to my apartment building. While I waited for the elevator, my phone rang.

Phone Call

Dame: Aye, Cole. You still coming thru?

Cole- Yeah, I'm bouta hop in the shower then I'm heading right over.

Dame- aight bro. Hurry up

Cole- I hope you got something to eat over there. I'm starvin' like Marvin nigga

Dame- hell yeah

Cole- aight baby, imma see you in about twenty aight

Dame- later

I hung up the phone and walked out of the elevator. I walked down the hallway with a weird feeling in my stomach. I unlocked the door to my apartment and Dame was sitting on the couch with a huge smile on his face.

"What the fuck?"