You're Like Coming Home

31.

Derek stood outside the door to his parents' bedroom, staring at the closed door in front of him. With a deep breath, he shook his head. It was his mother's bedroom now. Nothing belonged to his father anymore. Now, everything was Emma's.

He sighed and closed his eyes tightly for a moment before he pushed the door open and saw his mother sound asleep, wrapped tightly in his father's bathrobe. Tears still stained her cheeks, and she clutched a handful of tissues as she slept. Kathleen was sitting on the other side of the bed, her eyes red and swollen. When she saw Derek standing in the doorway, she stood and made his way over to him, wrapping her arms tightly around each other. They stood locked in that embrace for several moments before they stepped out into the hallway, Kathleen closing the door gently behind her.

"I gave her a sleeping pill," she explained. "She's a mess, Der."

Derek ran a hand over his face. "How are you doing?" he asked.

Kathleen shrugged. "As well as can be expected," she sighed. "I um...when his lawyer heard, he pulled up Dad's will. Everything's still in there...funeral plans, burial plot. We just have to figure out when we should have it."

"Soon," Derek nodded. "We can't...there's no way we can just put this off."

"I know," Kathleen nodded. "I need...God, I just can't even think right now."

"It's okay," Derek said softly. "I'll do it all."

"Derek," Kathleen said softly. "Don't do this. You're grieving just like the rest of us."

Derek sighed as he moved to open the door to his childhood bedroom, sinking down onto the bed and burying his face in his hands. Kathleen followed, wrapping her arms around him. "Is Meredith here?" she asked gently.

"Yeah, she's downstairs," Derek shook his head. "Nance is on her way?"

"Her plane was delayed," Kathleen sighed. "Chris is picking her up at the airport."

Derek nodded. "Kath, I...I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle this," he whispered.

"None of us do," Kathleen replied. "We'll get through it together."

"That's what Mer says," Derek said softly. "What happened, Kath? I mean, what actually happened?"

Kathleen shook her head. "He was on his way home from the hospital," she said. "It was raining, and as far as they can tell, he just lost control of the car. There was nothing anyone could have done, he died on impact."

Derek leaned back onto his pillow, staring at the ceiling. "How are we ever supposed to be the same?" he asked. "How are we supposed to have Christmas and birthdays and graduations...without Dad there?"

"I don't know," Kathleen whispered. "For now...we just have to get through the next couple days and make sure that Mom's taken care of."

"I can't even imagine what I'm going to say to her," Derek whispered.

Kathleen shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. Derek sat up and hugged her tightly, allowing himself to put his own grief aside to care for his sister.

"Derek?" Meredith's meek voice came from the doorway, and both he and Kathleen looked up to see her standing there, her face pale. "Um...Nancy just got here. Also, your, um...aunt, I think is on the phone. I told her you're not up for talking, but...she seemed pretty insistent."

"It must be Aunt Caroline," Kathleen managed to laugh. "She never takes no for an answer. I can take care of her."

"Thanks, Kath," Derek smiled slightly. She walked out of the room and Meredith cautiously approached, wringing her hands together. "Mer," he breathed. "Come here."