You're Like Coming Home

44.

"Oh my God," Meredith breathed, running her hand over the swelling on Derek's face. "Come here, I'll get you some ice."

Derek shook his head as she pulled him into the kitchen. "I don't need ice," he said. "I'm a man."

"So that means you don't need ice?" Kathleen asked with a bemused smile.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Addison rolled her eyes as she handed an ice pack to Meredith before pressing one to Mark's equally bruised face.

"Who did you get into a fight with?" Caitlin asked.

"Each other," Mark replied. "But it's okay. We got a beer afterwards."

"Clearly," Nancy scoffed.

"Why did you get into a fight?" Liz asked. "That hasn't happened since your junior year of high school and Mark told Rose that Derek wanted to go to a hotel with her after prom."

"I won," Derek announced, ignoring his sister.

"You so did not," Mark rolled his eyes.

Derek opened his mouth to argue, but Meredith cut in. "Okay, let's get back to the reason you two manly men decided to beat each other up."

"Well, Mark said that he wanted to go to med school in L.A.," Derek said. "And I didn't even apply there, which is stupid, because Mark and I have gone to the same school since kider...kinner....since before first grade."

"You got into a fight because you're not going to school together next year," Addison stated.

Meredith rolled her eyes as she turned to Addison. "I think I've officially become worried about how close they are now," she said.

"No, that just started it," Derek said. "Because after that....well, I don't remember, but when Mark said that Addison gives him more sex than you give me, I punched him." He stared up at Meredith with earnest eyes, as if waiting for her approval.

"Oh my God," Meredith groaned, her cheeks turning bright red.

"But it's true," Mark continued. "Like the time you caught us in the closet at Kathleen's wedding..."

"Hey!" Kathleen yelled. "Is that why you missed the cake?"

"Yeah, I'm still mad about that," Mark said to Addison.

"Shut up," she hissed.

"Don't worry, Mer, I made sure Mark knew about the time you gave me a blow job during bio last year," Derek nodded eagerly. "And the thing I do in the shower that makes you... Ow!" He cried out in pain as Meredith smacked the back of his head.

"You need to stop talking," she said. "Seriously, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"It's not stupid, it's important," Derek argued.

"To who?" Addison asked.

"Me," Derek and Mark said at the same time.

"This is way better than any movie we could be watching right now," Liz muttered to her sisters as she dug into her ice cream.

"Anyway, Mark's just mad because he knows I have a bigger..."

"Hey!" Mark shouted. "I thought we agreed we weren't going to talk about that. And for the record, he's barely an inch bigger."

"Oh my God," Kathleen buried her face in her hands. "This is so not a conversation I want to be having."

"I don't even want to know how you know that," Meredith muttered.