You're Like Coming Home

36.

Meredith was not a worrier. Usually, if something was going on in her life, she was able to shrug it off or distract herself with school or work. Even over the past couple months when she had been worried about Derek, she had lived under the assumption that he would eventually become himself again, and she had channeled all her worries into focusing on that hope. Now, as she lay beside him in the tiny hospital bed, his arm in a sling and his forehead bandaged as he fought for consciousness, she couldn't do anything except worry.

"Is there any change?" Mark murmured from the chair next to the bed where he'd been dozing on and off all night.

"No," Meredith sighed. "Mark...what if something happens?"

Mark leaned forward to squeeze her hand. "It won't," he said firmly. "There's nothing in the world that would make Derek leave you."

"I used to think that," she whispered. "But...that was before he crashed his motorcycle and kicked me out of his hospital room."

Mark ran a hand over his face, wondering how he was supposed to help his best friend's girlfriend get through this difficult time. "Meredith," he sighed. "Look...I'm going to go out to the waiting room to check on Emma and the girls, give Addie a call. Do you need anything?"

"No," Meredith whimpered, curling closer to Derek as she laid against his chest again. "Just...Derek."

"Hang in there," Mark whispered, squeezing her hand before he moved to walk out of the room.

Meredith sighed as she adjusted on the bed, moving so that she was sitting up, facing him with her hands cradling his uninjured hand. "Derek," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. For everything. You kept telling me how much you need me and how scared you were of losing me, and I know that I said I hated that but the truth is...I feel the same way. Derek, if I lost you, if you don't come back...I don't think I'll ever recover. Because you made me into the person I am today, and I love you so much. So please, just come back to me. I promise you can follow me around, and never leave my side again, if that's what you want. I'll never complain about it again, as long as you come back to me. Derek, I love you so much, so please...just come back. Please."

Tears streamed down her face as she leaned back down to rest against his chest. She cried quietly against his hospital gown as her fingers clutched the thin fabric, silently begging him to wake up. She wasn't sure how long she laid there crying before she heard a low groan and felt shifting beneath her head. With wide, hopeful eyes she sat up and looked down at Derek, whose eyes were still closed but were fluttering slightly like they always did when he was about to wake up. "Derek," she whispered, taking his face in her hands. "Derek, can you hear me? Please wake up, please, Der."

"Mer," he managed to groan after a moment, his eyes finally fluttering open.

"Derek," she sighed in relief fresh tears coming to her eyes, this time full of relief. "You're awake. Oh, thank you, thank you."

Derek groaned again, inhaling deeply before he whispered, "Sorry."

"Sorry?" Meredith frowned, moving to frame his face with his hands. "For what?"

"Evything," Derek mumbled.

Meredith frowned, hoping that his disorientation and slurred speech had more to do with just waking up than any serious medical conditions that could present themselves. "It's okay," she whispered. "I love you so much."

"Love...too."

She leaned forward to press her lips against his cheek. "I'm going to go get Dr. Hathaway," she whispered. "I'll be right back."

"No," he murmured, tightening his hold around her hand. It was still weaker than usual, but he clearly didn't want her to go.

"I have to, Der," she whispered. "I'll be right back, I promise."