You're Like Coming Home

76.

"Meredith," Emma breathed as she opened the front door to her house, surprised to see her daughter in law standing on her porch with red rimmed eyes. "What's wrong? Is Derek okay?" she asked as she pulled her into the house and wrapped her in a warm hug.

"Derek's fine," Meredith whispered, sinking into the older woman's embrace. "Well... he's an idiot but he's fine."

"You had a fight," Emma said with a nod as she pulled back to examine Meredith's face. "Was it bad?"

"I...I'm not sure," Meredith sighed. "I know you're Derek's mom and everything, but I wasn't sure who else I could talk to about this, but if you want me to go..."

"Nonsense," Emma shook her head, pulling Meredith into the living room. "Sit down and tell me what happened."

Meredith looked down at her hands, twisting her wedding rings for a moment before she met Emma's eyes again. "Derek and I...we had a pregnancy scare a couple weeks ago," she whispered. "And we were both freaking out because med school and babies and internships just don't mix. And when we got the test results back, Derek was happy. I know he was."

"But you weren't," Emma said softly.

"I...I should have been," she whispered. "I always wanted babies with Derek, and at that point I was so not ready for it. But over the past couple weeks, all I've wanted was to be a mom. Which is crazy. You can't miss something you never had."

"It's not crazy," Emma shook her head. "You've been with Derek for a long time. You've only been married for less than a year, but for all intents and purposes you were married for years before that. And it's natural to feel the desire to become a mother, especially if people around you are having babies."

"Really?" Meredith whispered.

"Of course," Emma said, leaning forward to squeeze Meredith's hand. "Now, keep telling me about what happened with Derek."

"He knew that I was disappointed," Meredith sighed. "And I told him that I was thinking about switching to pediatrics because that would mean that I would have a less demanding job and we could have babies soon. He was okay with that, but then today Beth told me she was pregnant, and I just...I want a baby so badly."

"And Derek doesn't?"

"Not now," Meredith whispered. "But I told him that I wanted babies. Now. And he completely freaked out because he said he's not ready, and then I accused him of not wanting my babies and he called me crazy and...I just didn't know where else to go."

"Meredith," Emma smiled, pulling the young girl into her arms. "First of all...I'm completely sure that Derek wants nothing more in the world than for you to give him babies. But right now...he wasn't expecting you to say that, and he's in a very challenging place in his life. You two had a plan together, and it's not to say that you can't change that plan, but you've got to talk about it. Talk, not yell, which I know my son can sometimes have a problem with. And you have to think about what's best for both of you as individuals as well as a couple."

Meredith smiled softly. "He's going to be a neurosurgeon," she said softly. "Even if I'm not sure...he is."

"He's his father's son."

"And it wouldn't be fair to ask him to have a baby in med school and a toddler during his internship."

"That's something you need to discuss with him."

As if on cue, the front door slammed open and Derek ran past the living room, shouting for his mother.

"In the living room, dear," Emma called into the hallway.