You're Like Coming Home

74.

Meredith was silent as Derek unlocked the door to their apartment later that night, quickly walking over to the couch and curling up in the corner and pulling a blanket over herself. Derek sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, moving closer to sit beside her on the couch and pull her into his arms.

"Mer," he whispered. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "And when you say that it means the exact opposite of fine. So talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," she replied. "I'm not pregnant."

"And there's nothing wrong with you," Derek nodded. "You heard the doctor, there's nothing wrong with you. It's probably just the stress."

"I know what the doctor said," she whispered.

"Okay..." Derek frowned. "I want to fix this, but you're going to have to spell it out for me."

Meredith sighed as she sat up and looked at him, seeing nothing but concern and love in his eyes as he linked their fingers together. "Beth and Nathan are trying," she whispered. "For a baby."

"That's great," Derek said with a smile. "We'll get some practice in before our turn."

"When we have babies, they'll have teenagers," Meredith continued, ignoring his comment. "We're waiting."

Derek frowned. "Meredith, I thought you wanted to wait," he said. "Three hours ago, you were freaking out because you thought you were pregnant."

"I know," she whispered. "And I thought I did want to wait, I really did. But I was disappointed when the test came back negative. So now I'm just confused. But it doesn't matter anyways."

"What?" Derek asked with a frown. "Why the hell doesn't it matter?"

"Because you don't want kids yet," she whispered. "So we have to wait."

"You can't do that," Derek said, shaking his head. "Mer, if you want kids now...that's something we have to talk about."

"I don't know what I want," she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"Oh, Mer," he breathed, pulling her into his arms. "It's okay if you don't know. You can take as long as you need."

"We agreed on ten years," she whispered.

"You're allowed to change your mind," Derek said softly.

"I...I need to think about it," she said. "But if I decide that I don't want to be a surgeon... if I was a pediatrician or something...you wouldn't hate me?"

"Meredith," Derek breathed, pulling her into his arms and hugging her tightly. "Of course."

"Good," she nodded. "That's good."

Derek smiled as he pulled back to look at her, brushing her hair back from her face. "You want some more birthday cake?" he asked.

Meredith sniffled slightly. "I think that's the last thing I need," she sighed. "Since I'm apparently too fat for the only size lingerie I've ever worn."

"You're not fat," Derek smiled, reaching out to run his hands along the curves of her body. "You know that stress can cause weight gain. You've been going through a lot lately, with school and work and thinking about Lexie and your dad. This is just your body's way of dealing with that."

"I guess," she sighed, leaning into him. "I know...I'm fat and everything, but if you still want to give me birthday sex, I'd be okay with that."

Derek smiled as he picked her up and slung her over her shoulder, his heart skipping a beat at the sound of her loud giggles.